Dating a super smart guy

Mar 4, Listed here are the top 10 things you should remember when dating a highly intelligent boy.
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They can pass on perfect arguments and supply huge chunks of information. However, these conversations are not going to help you take a relationship to the next level. If you have just begun dating him, it is a good idea to choose random conversations.


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This way, both of you can explore each other better. He may not have many Facebook friends or he may not entertain every one of your friends in a party. He usually opens up only after knowing someone really well. Do not give up on him before that.

Why the Smartest People Have the Toughest Time Dating

It seems quite unnatural but it is actually true. Most intelligent boys fail to impress girls simply because of their self-defeating nature. It happens mostly due to the reason that they like being right and do not learn how to please girls or how to make them smile even after failing repeatedly. In either case, if you two really are into each other, make it a point to take the first step and set things right.

Updated on 4 Mar, at 3: Listed below are the top 10 things you should remember when dating a highly intelligent boy: Let him know if he bores you with an expert-talk; be polite though: Latest Stories For You.

10. Do not compete; it’s not a race:

Aseem Gaurav Sharma 17 Jan, Surabhi Verma 17 Jan, Dhruv Badola 17 Jan, Shivani Goyal 17 Jan, Manisha Tyagi 17 Jan, Time spent studying, doing homework, and practicing the violin is time not spent doing other things -- like chasing boys or girls, which turns out is fairly instrumental in making you a well-rounded human.

The upshot of all that achievement is that you get into a top college -- congratulations! Dating is at best another extracurricular, number six or number seven down the list, somewhere between Model UN and intramural badminton. I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided which sounds so much better than "socially awkward," don't you think? All they need is a little tune up, or a little dating textbook like The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men , to get them going -- plus a little practice.

Of course, as noted above, things only get worse once you graduate. And if you're frustrated with your love life, you just might try to compensate by working harder and achieving even more to fill that void. Left untreated, this condition can go on for decades. I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good results or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results.

Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents. So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls or boys will like me.

Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid. Well, it's not going to get you laid, brother or sister. It may get you a first date, but it's probably not going to get you a second date. And it certainly won't bring you lasting love and fulfillment.

Your romantic success has nothing to do with your mental jewelry and everything to do with how you make the other person feel. And making someone feel a certain way is a somewhat nonlinear process that requires a different kind of mastery than that of calculus or Shakespeare.

Men can be ‘too smart’ to date

In other words, you need to earn love or at least lust. Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment or put-down , giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy. I wrote a whole page book about that, so that's a story for a different day. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being and therefore don't act like one.

At some point in your life, you got pegged as a smart person. From then on, that was your principal identity: Especially if you had a sibling who was better looking than you, in which case she or he was The Pretty One. Now you could be absolutely stunning in which case you're both smart AND pretty and everyone hates you except for me -- call me, like, immediately , but your identity is still bound up in being The Smart One.

So maybe you dress frumpy and don't pay a lot of attention to your appearance. Or never bothered to cultivate your sensuality as a woman. Or your sexual aggression as a male. Attracting a partner is all about the dance of polarity. Energy flows between positive and negative electrodes, anode and cathode, magnetic north and south. Unless you actually convey femininity as a woman or masculinity as a man, you're not going to attract a suitable companion of the opposite sex. Part of the issue is this: When all of your personal energy is concentrated in the head, it never gets a chance to trickle down to the heart, or, god forbid, the groin.

By virtue of being born of the union of male and female, yang and yin, you are a sexual being. Now do what you need to do to perpetuate the race already.

Use what mama amoeba gave you. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success. Here's an incontrovertible fact: Every one of your ancestors survived to reproductive age and got it on at least once with a member of the opposite sex. All the way back to Homo erectus. And even further back to Australopithecus. And even further back to monkeys, to lizards, to the first amphibian that crawled out of the slime, the fish that preceded that amphibian, the worm before the fish and the amoeba that preceded the worm.

And you, YOU, in the year C.

Because heaven knows that the amoeba, worm, fish, amphibian, monkey and primitive hominids didn't do a whole lot of thinking. Their DNA had a vested interest in perpetuating itself, so it made sure that happened. Turns out your DNA works the same way, too.