When you're first starting to date someone, you are still in the process of getting to know them as a person, even if it feels at times like you've known them forever.
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- They are confused.
- Getting Mixed Signals? Here's Why | The Everygirl
- How To Unpack And Interpret Mixed Signals
They are confused.
Because she is there, and willing to continue being there for him. I know this because I once found myself in a related situation.
When my now-husband and I were still dating, we briefly broke up at one point. During that time, I remember reconnecting with a past love.
Getting Mixed Signals? Here's Why | The Everygirl
I did so to distract myself: I call these relationships "time fillers". Now, I will say I took a lot of time off from even thinking about men or dating during Hemal and my break. But once I started to feel like myself again, it was nice to have a romantic interest around, at least so I didn't feel so alone. In these "relationships," I knew things weren't really going anywhere.
But it was comfortable and comforting to spend time with someone else. While I didn't consciously tell myself, "Well I just want someone to hang out with," that is exactly what I was doing. I know I am not the only one that has done this before, nor is the man Lindsey was getting mixed signals from. So if you have found yourself in a situation like Lindsey, then I have another question for you: In Lindsey's case, the guy was pretty clear about his desire not to be in a relationship, even if his behaviors defied that.
If a person expresses their unavailability and you find yourself feeling like you want to and can change their mind, I want you to rethink your logic. I want you to operate from the place that this isn't going to happen. And then if you choose to still be with them, you are walking into the situation with your eyes wide open, knowing they doesn't want anything further.
- Getting Mixed Signals? Here’s Why…!
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- How to Decipher Mixed Messages While Dating!
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If that doesn't feel good because you want more, then it is important to then let the situation and the person go. The truth is that I don't care what you decide here. But it is about you walking in consciously choosing instead of feeling like you are a victim , or being taken advantage of. He says he'll call, but doesn't. Instead he sends a brief text announcing that he is too tired to talk and will call you tomorrow. He doesn't call tomorrow. Instead he pings you on Facebook the day after tomorrow and invites you to a happy hour with a group of his friends. At the happy hour he flirts with you, but also flirts with another girl in the group.
Does he want you as a date? Dating is full of this type of confusion. If you are single person--male or female--looking for a relationship, you are sure to receive many mixed messages during the course of your search. Fortunately, there are a few tips that will help make decoding those mixed messages a little less difficult--and a little less devastating.
How To Unpack And Interpret Mixed Signals
See things as they are, not as you hope them to be. It is important not to let your hope for what could be blind you to the reality of what is. When trying to decipher mixed messages make an attempt to detach from your hopeful longings, to set your emotions aside and to examine your situation with an objective eye, as if you are an outsider looking in on yourself. Believe what you are told. If the person you are dating tells you that they are not fully available, uncertain or weary of entering into a relationship, believe it.
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But don't believe everything you are told, especially when it has to do with the future of your relationship. Just because the person whom you are dating makes references to all the wonderful activities that the two of you will do together someday doesn't mean that those activities are certain to take place. Remember, people often get caught in the moment and speak freely without giving much thought to their words, so that they end up saying things that they don't really mean. It takes a while to get to know another person and to understand the ways in which he or she communicates.
It is good to keep your guard up a little in the beginning, to observe the other person rather than to invest yourself completely right from day one. The more you observe, the easier you will be able to recognize and make sense of mixed messages. If you dive headfirst into the relationship it will be harder for you to maintain the distance you need to remain objective.
Objectivity is important in the beginning stages of dating if your ultimate goal is a long-term relationship. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. He makes plans with you on a regular basis, only to cancel them shortly after.
Andrea Davis Blogger, writer, adventurer. More From Thought Catalog.