You know what mixed signals are: one moment, she's flirty and warm with you, man to go up and have a girl reject you after you try and fail to get her on a date. . I'm aware sometimes you'll find a guy who "doesn't want to risk losing her" by.
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For a girl that exchange to me that good relationships are built on good communication We were talking about safe sex just last Saturday in our 4th date and she told me in a enthusiastic voice while I was talking about it "You have to make me your girlfriend first before we have sex! But looking at it now, I don't see why I would make a girl that's acting shady this early my girlfriend. The disconnection between texting and in person has been going for a month now.
Should I call her out on it?
Girl i'm dating mixed signals
I mean if the plan is a stable relationship then I should be able to express my concern and displeasure right? Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned.
Girl i'm dating mixed signals - The Three o five
Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. Search this Thread Advanced Search. Similar Threads This girl is giving me mixed signals, I'm confused. For a girl that exchange to me that good relationships are built on good communication We were talking about safe sex just last Saturday in our 4th date and she told me in a enthusiastic voice while I was talking about it "You have to make me your girlfriend first before we have sex!
But looking at it now, I don't see why I would make a girl that's acting shady this early my girlfriend. The disconnection between texting and in person has been going for a month now. Should I call her out on it? I mean if the plan is a stable relationship then I should be able to express my concern and displeasure right?
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Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. Search this Thread Advanced Search. Similar Threads This girl is giving me mixed signals, I'm confused.
This is not going to happen. Now that I have said that, some person will pop in to say this exact thing happened to them and the marriage is in March! Tell or show her in some unequivocal way that you are interested in her romantically. Um, can you just talk to her first? Yes, it's scary, but your current MO of patiently waiting probably won't amount to much. I pull this crap a lot with guys because I'm also wary of a serious relationship unless it's seriously seriously worth it, which is silly because rarely do we know when something is serious unless we try it first.
In the meantime I tend to hop gingerly around with guys who I'm sort of seeing-but-not-seeing, casting out boatloads of mixed signals. The most common scenario is that the guy sees that I'm skittish about commitment, doesn't want to push me too hard lest I run away or he gets rejected, so we never talk about getting more serious, and then absolutely nothing happens.
She's obviously keeping you in the Safe Zone, and she'll probably lock you up there until you give up likely or she figures her shit out in a timely fashion less likely. Don't assume she has a cemented agenda in mind when she does erratic things like keep you at arm's length, telling you about other guys, inviting you as a date to social functions--she's probably unconsciously testing your boundaries to see what you'll do. One of the hardest rites of passage of growing up is learning how to A be single, and B realize that, amid the casual dating and the character-building and the occasionally crippling uncertainty of being alone, that hey, you met someone who's really cool.
You're not taking much direction because you don't want to push her into something she doesn't want.
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That's really considerate and noble, but it's probably time to let her know what you want, which will help her figure out what she wants in relation to you. Wait for the flush of that second glass of wine and say, "Look, it's cool if you want to keep hanging out like this, but I like you lots and would like to get more serious at some point. Doesn't have to be right now, but I wanted to put that on the table. She told me that after she broke up with her last boyfriend over 9 months ago she had decided that she wanted to be independent from a relationship so that she could grow as a person because she felt she was leaning too much on her significant others for her own self worth.
I wonder if she's just telling you about her past.
She might think that she has now done this, having grown as a person. I can't speak for her, but nine months is long enough to physically gestate an entirely new person. She may be in effect selling herself to you, telling you she's done the independent work to be ready for a really mature relationship. And now she's met you. She may also be telling you what she wants out of a relationship, essentially asking whether that sounds alright to you. Being independent as a person is not exactly the same as taking things slow or not doing physical things.
This change she's describing is probably just part of why you think she's cool I'm assuming she isn't being all eager-to-please and immediately changing to suit you? Unless told otherwise, I would assume that you two could get physical, start a relationship, and all of that, as long as it doesn't feel like she has to make her sense of self-worth contingent on pleasing you. And I'm assuming that's probably fine with you, which is why she's wanted to get to this point where she takes for granted that she can continue to be her own person, and why she's wanted to meet people who want mature relationships with independent individuals.
Of course, this is just my take on something I heard second-hand, and there are other interpretations. There's probably a really good conversation to be had by asking her more about what she meant about wanting to grow as a person and not lean on her SOs for self-worth. This one is a bit mysterious. But since she was fairly explicit before, I do think that if she was saying "don't be that guy," she would've returned to that theme and said it more clearly.
She could've concluded the anecdote about her other friend with something like " I felt bad about it, but I really don't want to get into a romantic relationship until after I spend a lot more time on my own," and the fact that she didn't seems like a good sign. Don't talk about it.
I agree with cinncinatus, just kiss her. If you can, get hammered together first. Adding a suggestion to some of what was said above. Make that first attempt a "sweet" kiss on the lips and see how she reacts. Don't go straight for the "swallow her head" type. She might just not be ready yet. The sweet kiss might lead to more right then or leave it open for a little ways down the road.
People who are hammered many do things they have major regrets about later. You might get a great response during the hammered period that doesn't follow through to the next day. Seconding the recommendation from Intimate Connections. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go for it if that's what you want. I say this because you sound a bit conflicted yourself. I'm a dude, much older than you and at some point if I want someone, I just go for it. You haven't yet and that makes me wonder. If you decide you do want a relationship with her, I'd physically up the ante during the party.
This does not mean grabbing a boob or any other off-limits-unless-you-get-a-clear-green-light-area, it means subtle physical touching of shoulders, back, and upper arm. The same old stuff everyone does--hand on the back, touching, eye contact, all of that. See how she reacts.
Unless she physically pulls away or says "don't do that" keep doing it, because you can easily misinterpret things as being a no when they are not. Sometime during that night, when you get a chance to be alone, kiss her. Don't let her push you around though. If she pulls away respect that, but also respect yourself by basically ending it. Sometimes men and women like the attention others give them and don't ask themselves too many questions about their own motiviations.
Otherwise it is going to be really painful when she starts hooking up with other dudes, which, as a person, she's entitled to do if she isn't going to be dating you. In terms of awkwardly talking about things, I'm a big fan.