Dating japanese women

I've dated and married a Japanese woman. Dated for 3 and married for 13 years. Dating scene, women tend to fall into different categories. Some marry for job.
Table of contents

No longer was I in control of my relationship with Japan; now I tended to feel more like a prisoner in a relationship with a foreign culture from which I could not escape. The only way I could truly enjoy and develop my love for Japan, I concluded, was by excluding my love life from that cultural relationship.

Let me take you back to the beginning, though, when in my mids I came to study and live in Japan as a graduate student. Like so many other Western men in Japan, I soon discovered that at the age of 25 I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl of such loveliness that I had to pinch myself to believe she could be interested in my shabbily dressed self. Having endured undergraduate years in England where I was barely able to find a girlfriend of any description, this sudden transformation of fortunes should perhaps have been enough to have immediately made me seal the deal with the heavenly Japanese girlfriend, who was only too keen to settle down together.

But somehow I dithered, feeling correctly that my romantic career was only just beginning.


  • How a love of Japan led me to stop dating its women.
  • Please Update Your Browser.
  • 2. The Truth About Getting Married With a Japanese Woman.
  • How to date a woman from Japan?.
  • where to go speed dating in london!
  • dating girl 4 years older!
  • Japanese women.

There were several reasons why I started losing interest in dating Japanese women, but the main one was my deepening involvement with Japanese culture. By then I felt quite comfortable — indeed, slightly bored — in an exclusively Japanese world.

TOKYO (3 a.m.)

I was spending all week in university libraries, taxing my brain, reading Japanese books. I wanted to head off to the bars and clubs of downtown Osaka and hang out with exciting girls from all over the world. And there were so many of them! My feisty Korean girlfriend was a constant source of cultural bewilderment to me, exploding into a fury if I did not fulfill her strange demands — she once took off a stiletto and hurled it across a train station foyer at me — and yet suddenly switched to mawkish tenderness.

After all the excitement of these girlfriends, my periodic return to the arms of Japanese girlfriends seemed like interludes of Zen-like stillness. And yet pursuing a relationship with someone from another East Asian country was never really an option — I was too devoted to my studies in Japan to have time for another major cultural commitment. I found my New World girlfriends exciting and stimulating and yet never mentally tiring or a distracting cultural commitment.

I enjoyed halcyon years of flying home to the U. The New World girlfriend, I concluded, was the perfect match for me. I found that the nationality of the girl I was dating greatly affected my mental mood and how I thought about things. Japanese girlfriends, for example, were nearly always quite keen on the idea of moving back to the U. But I, in contrast, was always keen to remain firmly established in Japan. On the other hand, when I returned to the U. They have really good fish tacos.

Dating A Japanese Woman: What’s It Really Like?! » Zooming Japan

I had to think for a moment. You know, I have a pretty checkered past, and I really needed to refer to my daily planner, just to be sure. That seemed to disappoint her. Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again. Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.

1. Approaching A Japanese Woman

Then a few months later, I met a Japanese girl in a club in Roppongi. She was short and cute, and as the night progressed we ended up outside, walking down the street. Anyway, at what seemed to be the perfect moment, I swept her into a parking garage and we started making out against a concrete wall. That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently.

Are all the women in this country mental? I mean, really, have some timing. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan. Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. Or anywhere, for that matter. Anyway, hot dog bun. You know, I initially believed Japanese women were wild about foreign men.

Thanks a lot for hyping that wisdom, internet. Outside of Irish bars, international parties and the like, in the society at large — and I hate to say this, but well — foreigners are not highly regarded in Japan , including by Japanese women. Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: Meet my new bride: Ok, let me add a couple of disclaimers here. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society.

And like women anywhere, they can be controlling, angry, and vindictive if you screw up. Do not screw up. Trust me on this. They want a house, kids, and a husband who brings home a paycheck. And life here can be frustrating at times. Stay at work, socialise in bars, live in a capsule hotel, never ho home, problem solved… Sort of. I laughed way too much reading this and had to wipe the tears from my eyes several times.

Have you ever seen women getting groped on the subway; for example, you might think its the national past time after looking on the internet I also heard this too. I know they might be mutually exclusive situations or non-correlative factors to one another, but can they both be true at the same time?? Japanese men were always very hostile to servicemen from all branches of the US military and I never had a good experience dealing with them.

I was pretty well traveled here in the United States and only four times in my nearly 60 years have I personally met Japanese women in America and two were married to US Marines, one was married to an international lawyer she was the daughter of a corporate big wig and another one was a psychologist married to a psychiatrist.

Dating A Japanese Woman: What’s It Really Like?!

The two that were married to Marines were beer guzzling sweet shy people in public until they got drunk, then they became loud and less shy and were very hard working and argumentative wives at home just like Ken described, except they lived in the US. The one married to the American psychiatrist was a really admirable person that worked hard and she also spoke perfect English and was great in discussions on any topic, yet she was also a very beautiful person, inside and out.

I could find nothing wrong with her she is my idealistic vision of a smart Geisha that married well and her 4 children were so bright and incredibly well mannered I saw them in their home regularly for many years as I taught chess to them that I thought of them as the perfect family. She worked tirelessly to make her kids feel loved and taught them to be excellent students two went to MIT, one went to Columbia Law School and another to Princeton, all Ivy League schools.

They were fairly well off no servants , yet not as well off as the lawyer couple. I never really met any good Japanese family men or even salary-men where I traveled, as I mainly ran into the lower class working types laborers, truck drivers, fishermen, farmers in Okinawa bars. Japanese women that Ken describes might be from the lower and middle class but might not be from the upper class could they be different?

The nippon work ethic, once learned, stays with a Japanese person, whether they are in the US or Japan!! Ken is the wisest and most hilarious Gaijin I have ever known: I absolutely refuse to call people by their last name unless there is no other choice like seeing the name tag on the police officer that just pulled me over for speeding: Well, American news media is going that route nowadays too I guess, as we only have two violently opposed voices — liberal and conservative where moderates are no longer given a voice.

Therefore, I give humble thanks to both of you … so so very much for all you are doing to make Japan come to life over the internet and in my imagination!!! While I do agree with some of the points you make especially the one about generalizations; good comparison , let me go through some of the ideas you wrote there:.

Some of them are actually very weird by the way, I have been asked some of those out-of-nowhere questions too. Well, they got it coming: Try going after a girl with a real career and a skill set that goes beyond makeup and expensive fashion complements and then write how it goes. But then again, you may need some more credentials than a foreign passport and a couple of beers to get her to make out with you.

I do have a number of friends that exercised the same poor judgement back in the day, and now they are as miserable as you and your friends seem to be.

Perhaps this is my fault for not painting a fuller picture, but I was trying to write about Japanese women, not so much myself. If you really want to hear about me talking to a girl in the frozen food section of , well, I guess I could write that. But unlike the women you described, they were very ordinary people with good jobs: Too loud and crowded for my tastes. People should be careful not to judge Japan too quickly based upon hearsay or first impressions.

The picture shown at the intro to this article on the blog shows a couple dressed in white posing on a dock with really brilliant looking trombones. Is there any significance to the trombones that the couple is holding. OK, this is my question: Why is the woman holding the bigger and most expensive trombone?


  • ucf dating tumblr!
  • 10 Tips for Dating Japanese Women.
  • How do I get a Japanese woman to like me?.
  • dr phil dating disasters!
  • dating emerald qld!
  • online dating mining!

Is she just a better player or just worth more money …. It was a wedding shooting. Speaking Japanese is not as difficult as you may think. Although there are some pointless levels to respect, standard Japanese is enough for foreigners as locals will be more understanding and flexible. Writing and reading are probably difficult if you are not used to Asian alphabets. You can learn them later if you like. They tend to measure how much you are interested in them by weighting how many messages you send before the first date.

Just let them feel that you really want to go out with them. Trust me, they love writing a lot.