Dating man with hsv 2

Sep 9, Don't let genital herpes keeping you from dating. It might be better to break the news about herpes to someone who has already grown.
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Hah hah, herpes is disgusting and hilarious. What a slutty joke. Feminists these days, am I right? At the end of the day, STI stigma is a form of prejudice. To you it may seem reasonable, a matter of self-preservation. But to us, it is dehumanizing.


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But in asking me this question, an actual person with herpes, you are shaming and insulting me in the name of needing help deciding. Yeah, you can read that again. If you are not willing to brave the risk of getting herpes, you are not worth my time. If my STI is a deal breaker for you, your ignorance and cowardice is a deal breaker for me.


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One of the most romantic moments of my life was when an old partner told me that I had so thoroughly de-stigmatized herpes for him that he saw contracting from me as an inevitability he chose, rather than a nightmare I should have panic attacks over and although I continued to have said panic attacks, I never did transmit to him. A true partner, a true best friend, accepts all of you. They do not barter or keep score, or make a pros and cons list when it comes to asking you on a third date. Hi Ella, Thank you for your vulnerability on here.

I truly appreciate it. I had such a horrible experience this week. In , I was told by a doctor in an email versus a result ugh that I had been exposed to herpes 2 not verbatim I had it. I was with a long term partner. I recently began dating again after 7 years and did the whole sti panel with this partner. He and I touched one another naked, made out, with some saliva exchange obvi.

I then went on to gain more clarity with a doctor that it means i have it. I was in disbelief and angry. I turned that hate at situation inward and got really depressed and luckily have a great social support group and amazing therapist. He and I have since talked and came to more closure which I am so thankful he was open to.

I just may not have gotten the closure and would need to forgive myself for an honest mistake. I wish I remembered and told him when kissing: I have a lot of anger at doctors for not being explicit and towards myself for my ignorance.

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?

I mean obviously your story speaks to it. When we are kissing? This process is so new to me so any support and guidance is appreciated. Thanks for sharing your story and inspiring me to do the same. I hope this can be healing. Your story has really impacted me for the better and my shame is slowly diminishing. This was a good, interesting and funny read. Ella, So beautifully well written. I have Herpes 2 and am currently dealing with shame around it.

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Just gotta say fuck it and move on then! At a point I stopped divulging my situation until I was sure I could trust my partner with my humiliating reality. I was always careful, never sex when I get that tingling, had to lie on my menses sooo many times. Someone just broke up with me after 5months of dating.

We moved kinda fast but I knew him from my past and thought it was safe to tell him right away. I had already had sex with him when I told him about my condition. He stayed for a few months but eventually left, said he fell in love with me before I told him. I get his position. We just have to be strong and patient. My heart is with you. This is the kind of hyperbole we should check them on for the sake of being factual and not allowing ourselves to be demeaned. I really admire you…We need more voices more people to speak about Herpes honestly and openly.

Do you have any more blogs? Thank you a million times over for being the voice we all have, but feel too stigmatized to use. The world needs more people like you.

Complete Conference On Herpes Dating - Problems Occur In Herpes

I just met a beautiful, amazing girl that makes me truly happy but she shared she contacted herpes as a kid, HSV Your blog reinforce my decision. This post has really helped me form my decision when it came to dating someone with genital herpes. My head was spinning when I first told to say the least. My girlfriend opened up to me after a month of dating and copious unprotected sex that she had genital herpes, that she was on suppression medication and that she had not had an outbreak for 3 years.

I myself have cold sores and to be perfectly honest I definitely did not know as much as I do now about the disease. I thought it to be very very contagious even when dormant. So, she told me and I freaked out. I was torn because I do love her and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her but, even the best laid plans go awry. I would then have to try and find love with an STI which frankly scares a lot of people away.

These scenarios are still a possibility but after reading your personal experiences about opening up to potential partners before you slept together has made me feel much better about taking the risk. In the past I thought I would have ran away from someone who were to tell me this, but in reality it did not phase my attraction to her at all what so ever. Yes I did have questions and concerns but I feel we are closer now than ever and are able to talk about anything without criticism or judgment from each other.

I have never experience this type of relationship before and perhaps that is why so many have failed for me in the past. I care about her deeply and hope to continue to grow our relationship much further. But, in reality, it is no big deal. The chances of their having something passed to them from one of these other women is probably better than from me, because I take suppressive drugs and am careful.

Good for you for educating yourself! Dawson, Well written think these and I applaud you for tackling this head on. As a person with HSV1 common cold sore i. Herpes I believe I most likely contracted it from my mother as a child.

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes? – Ella Dawson

I am obsessive about protecting my partners. I would not rule out a partner based on an STI. Your observation about distilling someone down to an infection was spot on. Thank you for taking the time to write this piece it was insightful. I have cold sores to and I afraid talking about it with my partner and on dates. How and when do you tell them about it? Oh, I hate to see you limiting yourself like that! For me I hated that it looked like someone had given me a fat lip. But I see no more reason to tell someone about cold sores than anything else.

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You know herpes is the virus behind lots of things, right? To manage your cold sores , ask your doctor for a valcyclovir or acyclovir prescription. It cures them fast. I think the way nick handles his outbreaks makes a lot of sense. I think that in addition to the social stigma, there is this very lizard-brain level fear response to the idea of infection, even outside of a sexual context.

That tension and desire to hold my breath I get when I hear some kid coughing in the supermarket. The visceral horror people have about leprosy, which is also sort of a skin condition.