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The more intensive your ostomy-surgery was in your pelvic regions, the higher the risk for surgical damage to occur. This can include nerve damage that leads to the inability to achieve erection and can affect potency. The damage is not always permanent, though it can take years to get your function back.

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For a nice chart that breaks down the level of risk for each complication associated with which surgery you had, check out page 13 of the UOAA Intimacy Guide. Dating with an Ostomy. If you accept your ostomy , others are more likely to accept it to.

Telling your new partner about it and coming off as grossed out is most likely going to be a big turn off. Plus, activities are bonding and fun!

Woman shares her experience of dating with a colostomy bag

An ostomy is pretty much a built in jerk repellant. Telling someone about your ostomy is a test of their character. When to share the news: Let the person learn who you are before applying a label to yourself. Though this was advice given to me, it was also my experience so this one has my vote Tell them after the first date if it went well. Tell them when you trust them to be able to handle it. Tell them before getting all handsy and intimate — while they might not be a person who would care if you have an ostomy, presentation matters, and finding out by accidentally ripping it off or seeing it randomly during a hook up is likely not the right presentation.

My New Girlfriend?

Try and try again. If you tell someone on the first date and they reject you, find someone else and try something different with them. People without ostomies get rejected too, remember? How to share the news: Start from the beginning. Giving some depth and detail to your story helps them understand where you came from. This is what I did — it was successful. Tell them over time. Maybe you mention you having IBD or having had cancer on one date. On the next, you mention that something was removed or that you had abdominal surgery, but neglect to mention the ostomy part of the story.

The UOAA has put together a really in depth and informative guide for intimacy with an ostomy.

PAPER BAG speed-dating sees daters covering faces for first encounters | Daily Mail Online

So I dragged my arse out of bed, frocked up and off to the races we went. My sister and I have a habit of people watching and today was no exception as there were many interesting people to watch. One peaked her interest due to his amazingly tight ringlet curls, me finding a smidge of my old confidence then decided to walk right up to him and tell him they were awesome. Instead of writing me off and deleting my number he texted me back asking me to keep his number in case something changes in the future.


  1. PAPER BAG speed-dating sees daters covering faces for first encounters.
  2. Dating with an ostomy.
  3. Dating with an ostomy – Insideout Ostomy Life.
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  5. speed dating second date.
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So I texted him one sentence. A week later we were dressed to the nines learning about each other on the way to what turned out to be the most boring event either of us had even been too. We bailed two hours in and found a coffee house so we could actually talk and get to know each other. The more we talked the less suited we seemed, we were total opposites, he despised my job I am an accountant but the least typical accountant you could find and I thought he was a geek, so friends it was.

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He was so much more relaxed when around his friends and they were all seemed like genuine people and our friendship grew. He was shocked and pleased to see me when my sister and I arrived at five to midnight. The clock struck twelve and lucky for both of us he could kiss, soon after midnight my spoons were done so he walked me to the car to kiss me again. Just as I got into the car I told him I have an ileostomy bag due to ulcerative colitis and left it with him.

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He was on my doorstep the next evening with more questions and information about my condition than I had even asked or found out and I had been living it for years. Check out my ostomy awareness blog for more information on what an ostomy is. It was all over the bed, the floor and me.