Im secretly dating my best friends ex

The dilemma I'm dating this amazing guy. The problem is he is my best friend's ex . She and I were soul sisters, spoke on the phone for hours.
Table of contents

• My best friend's ex has asked me out on a date - I really like him, what should I do?
• Read This Before Dating Your Best Friend’s Ex Boyfriend
• Want to add to the discussion?
• Dear Coleen: I'm dating my best friend's ex and it's so awkward - Coleen Nolan - Mirror Online

Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present. You also need to ask yourself if the ex has had enough time to heal from the breakup or you could risk being the rebound. Do they check off most of your boxes? Do you have strong indication that they reciprocate your feelings?

A lot depends on the length of time your friend was with this person. A couple of years and a couple of months are two very different time frames and carry different sensitivities. It comes down to how you view your friendship — only you can answer which is more important. So Alyssa met this new guy at work and they hit it off. They went on a few dates. Turns out he knows Berline but was vague on how.

I suggested that Alyssa just ask Berline to be clear. They dated before Alyssa and Berline even met so Alyssa never knew them together.

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But Berline considers this guy the love of her life and was very hurt that Alyssa went out with him. And was pissed for weeks that Alyssa even asked her because apparently she talked to Alyssa about him before. Alyssa told me that she would only be his friend going forward to avoid the drama with Berline. She was super active in the planning. They had a few cancellations and she asked if I wanted to attend about two weeks before the event. Of course I said yes. She told me that they were just good friends from work and he offered to take her since her family was pressuring her to have a date.

Then a week later she did admit to me that she probably was going to sleep with him after the wedding. She said I was being super judgmental. And maybe I was? I am not sure. She told me she understood and we are on better terms now.

But the problem is now she is now in a full relationship with this guy now. Both me and Darling Husband have suggested that she come clean with Berline but she has not. I feel awful just knowing about it. Literally me and Darling Husband spend nights at Berlines house just hanging out and I feel guilty just smiling in her face.

We are in our 30s.

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But I feel that Alyssa should be honest about the situation to Berline. Its not fair to ask me and Darling Husband to keep her secret. I feel like a really shitty friend. Darling Husband could care less and said I am getting too emotionally involved. Wow that is a tough one bee. I would also tell Alyssa that you support her relationship with this guy and you want her to be happy. I can imagine how you must be feeling.

Want to add to the discussion?

Ask Alyssa what she would do in your shoes. Tell her the longer she keeps it from Berline, the most hurt she will be in the end. If she marries his guy then Berline will never talk to her again. If they break up the same will probably happen. Alyssa needs to decide who she values more. I agree, stay out of it. I get that Berline might be hurt but this relationship was 4 years ago that has clearly ended….

She needs to move on and get over this guy. They all need to grow up and act like adults. I would tell A you have no intention of lying to B, so if a question is asked you well be honest but other than that I would stay very far out of this and let them figure this out for themselves. They are all adults and can sort it out on their own. This is a tough situation. I would probably tell A that being part of this is just too difficult, and that I want nothing to do with it.

Encourage her to be honest with B. They dated a long time ago, and she needs to move on. Keeping her friend from happiness is not a healthy way of dealing with her issues around this breakup. I agree I think its important to let Alyssa know that I support her relationship because I do. From what I heard about him.