The friend zone is like a dating purgatory that puts you in a limbo of confusion and doubt. It may sound like a joke, but many Christian men and.
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He or she might feel sadness that the friendship he or she has enjoyed so much has been impacted by the change of circumstance. Knowing your friendship may not be able to continue the same way it has can be hard. Next, we need to understand that the two individuals together control the relational realities. The two individuals, by communicating with each other, together can define and direct their relationship.
Get Out Of The Friend Zone
There are numerous possibilities for how they can direct their relationship. They can agree to pursue a romantic relationship. They can remain platonic friends with the agreement to pursue a romantic relationship at a later time. They can remain platonic friends with no expectation of a future romantic relationship. They can also choose to distance their friendship. The two together have to decide which course will be chosen in their relationship.
Most of the options require agreement. The only option a person can choose without agreement is to step away from the friendship. I want to pause here to remind everyone that love for one another is what should guide two friends as they navigate the process of directing their relationship. This is the type of love Paul talked about when he said,.
Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. Earlier I said that no one is at fault for a Friend Zone arising. That would be dishonest. So be sure to let love be the guide that helps the two of you find wisdom in navigating the Friend Zone.
That being said, the two friends will have to determine how to direct their relationship in light of the emotions the two of them are experiencing. This can be done by observing and responding. Observing means you take an honest look at what the two of you are feeling. This has to be done by communicating.
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In our scenario, Jared took the first step by expressing his interest to Jessica. At that point, Jessica needed to share how she felt with Jared. This allows both of them to observe their feelings by understanding how they both feel. This revealed that Jared was interested, but Jessica was not. This means they together respond to the situation by determining how their relationship will proceed.
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Again, this takes a lot of communication. It also takes wisdom to look at the possibilities and decide which one will be chosen. But sometimes it will be an option of the friend with less interest still has some desire to see if deeper romantic feelings will grow. Maybe the friend who feels romantic interest only has a casual level of interest. I once experienced this with a friend of mine. We had casual interest in each other and went on a date.
If anything, I would actually say it helped build our friendship. I recall a young woman that I liked quite a bit.
I accepted and respected her answer, and we went on as friends. Being with her but not going beyond friendship caused me some emotional difficulty that tripped me up in significant ways. In light of that difficulty, I was ultimately willing to accept a distancing in our friendship. So what should happen when the interested person has a high level of emotional attraction?
My rule of thumb is this: In other words, since the interested person has the burden of bearing the greater emotional challenge, he or she should get to decide how close they remain as friends. A long-term friend of mine once confided that she was interested in me. I also told her that I knew it can be hard being in her place, and I wanted her to be able to choose how close we would remain as friends. She chose for us to continue as friends. But sacrificing your desire for a friendship with the other person for the sake of supporting him or her is one way to show genuine love.
Now, if the person with interest decides to remain friends, it means something very significant. It means that person has chosen to accept the emotional risk of remaining friends. Remember that it can be painful to be near someone you like but not have him or her. If you choose to maintain a close friendship with someone who has rejected your interest, then you alone are responsible for dealing with the emotional realities of it. You have to accept the risk of continuing to desire a relationship that will never happen.
You have to accept the pain that may come from watching the other person get romantically involved with someone else. Sometimes emotions are too strong to be near a person but not have him or her. It might mean you spend less time with each other. Or maybe it means you spend less time together for a season. What is the Christian response to getting friend zoned? Here are four tips for the friend-zoned Christian dating hopeful. We live in a world that promises so many instant things — instant gratification, instant relationships, instant marriages, instant noodles, and so on.
But the best things in life will often come with a season of waiting. Have you ever asked whether the friend zone is just a phase that Christian dating hopefuls need to go through? Friendship in fact is a safe place for Christian men and women to get to know each other better. If you're really serious about someone, you will be willing to wait.
Navigating The Friend Zone - That Crazy Christian Romance
If you really do come into a season of waiting, we only really have two options—stick through it or give up. And maybe you might have to give up on the person, but you don't necessarily have to give up on your hopes of marriage. Just because someone rejects you, it doesn't have to be a reason to harbour bitterness in your heart. One of the lies the enemy wants Christian bachelors to believe is that when rejected, you also have to reject them. That's not always the case. In God's kingdom there is very little reason to burn bridges. I was not going to seek out girls as friends.
And you know what happened? I had a lot of dates. Most of them went no where. In an ironic twist my best female friend in college by far was girl who I met on a date. But you know what? If you are friend zoned with someone, just end it. Stop being a buddy to the girl you want to date. It takes way too much of your time, energy, thought life, and heart. People have asked me, how do I get our of the friend zone with this particular person.
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My answer every time is simple. Just stop doing it. In a sense, break up. It is the only way. Just do it brother. Do you want her respect or her acceptance? Do what it takes. If that means switching community groups do it. If it means taking her number out of phone or de-freinding her on FB, do it. If it means not talking to her at all, do it. Do it and do it now. Picture from Coloring From Grown Ups. Legitimate friendship is fine. Addressing friends from the standpoint of dating is much different than addressing them from the standpoint of people who have chosen celibacy. Yes, legitimate friendship is fine which is different from the friend zone.
But who else knows what my intentions are? No one wants to be manipulated, which I think is the point of your post.