Friend is dating my ex

My ex of five years is in love with my best friend and I don't know how to handle it. She recently confessed to me that they have been seeing.
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Dating new people can be dreadfully hard, we get it, but branching out is a good thing. Their social proximity, dreamy eyes, and the ease of already having access to the Instagram profile aside, why this person? At the risk of stating the obvious, people who are friends usually have a ton of things in common, including personality traits. Home Love Dating Games of Life 6 questions you should ask if you want to date your ex's friend. Karen Fratti August 28, Really depends, but a good friend wouldn't be dating your ex without at least asking you first. That's if you value the friendship, and if they don't then they're not really your friend to begin with.

The issue really lays between the friend and the ex and there are a lot of contributing factors to it. Well if you assume the relationship was serious and this was a good friend then personally I'd expect there to be mutual communication around something that could end up emotionally hurting someone I care about. It's not mandatory more of a gesture to say you value your friend. Well, it depends on how the relationship ends, who ended the relationship, why you're dating you're ex's bestie, and how long it's been since the relationship ended.

If you're dating the best friend only to make the ex jealous. Like if you're using the best friend to play mind games. That it not acceptable. It's a bit of a tricky scenario with a lot of ways things can end badly. If it happens naturally and your real friends everybody involve would understand my humble opinion.


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Try to stay focused and calm during the conversation - remember that he didn't do this to hurt you - and don't be afraid to take a step back if you need to. If your goal is just "be not awkward around Mike", what would that look like for you? Try to frame it as unemotionally as possible. Perhaps this means "we won't talk about Jane", "we will acknowledge each other at events and act civilly, but I won't expect him to talk to me one-on-one". Take this to your conversation, too, and discuss ground rules and expectations for your relationship with Mike going forward.

If Mike responds poorly, that sucks, but now you know. Talk to your other friends in the group - they are surely aware of the situation - about how to approach it. Maybe you can get together without Mike on occasion try not to make them pick sides, though , or maybe you just need to distance yourself for a while.

Hopefully they will be understanding. If they take sides, that's again very unfortunate, but sometimes happens, and I suggest AndreiROM's advice to find a new group that is more caring about you.

6 questions you should ask if you want to date your ex's friend

I had such a conversation a few months ago. While it didn't magically make everything OK, the strategy of preparing questions and getting them answered made me feel satisfied that it went about as well as possible, and helped my peace of mind about dealing with that particular person in the future. Your story is a little confusing, however the overarching theme is that your ex, and your friends are walking all over you. My advice to you is to look deep inside, realize that you're worth more than this, and move on with your life.

Here are some hard facts:. Anyone willing to hook up with your friend behind your back is not worth the time of day. She's a cheater, and always will be.

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Purge every trace of her from your life. Any so called friend who would hook up with your girlfriend behind your back is a back-stabbing fiend, and not worth having around.

You seem to be in a fragile state of mind, but those things cannot be ignored. If you think you can simply rejoin the circle of "friends", and act like nothing's happened, then you think less of yourself than even they do. I urge you to find new friends. Get out there, join a club, start up a new hobby! Find a reason to gain value in your own self before seeking the approval of strangers. Learn a new language and travel. Start painting, hiking, wall climbing, whatever captures your imagination.

But stop fixating on these leeches you seem to think are your friends. You're young, and it seems like without these people in your life you may be left alone, but give yourself some time to gain perspective. Trust in your own worth, and abilities. Focus on having this episode in your life become the moment you changed for the better, not on how you might ingratiate yourself with a bunch of back-stabbing a-holes who care nothing for you. This is a situation I've found myself on all sides of over the years.

The times I found myself in your position, there was usually the instinct to think and sometimes say:. It hurts to feel rejected by a partner, it hurts more when your friend " betrays " you and starts seeing your ex. I know how that feels and I know it sucks. Even if your friend had come to you first and told you about their intentions, it still hurts.

It's easy to say that if they had done things this way, or that way, it would hurt less, but in my experience it doesn't. Having been in the others roles of this situation, I can tell you that they didn't do that to you. They most likely got together the way most couples do, and that didn't really have anything to do with you.

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They're not dating to hurt you, they're dating because they like each other. My issue is that given our history, I have no idea what my appropriate attitude should be towards them and how to interact with them when it comes to it. What would be a mature way to handle it, without me looking like a beaten dog? I know that's hard to hear right now, I hated hearing it too, and I hated saying it more.

Realistically it's all you can do if you want to have any sort of peaceful relationship with these people. Also, being happy for them and moving on shows that you're not a "beaten dog" It shows that you're strong enough to not let this stuff get to you. It takes a lot of strength to carry on after a hard breakup, and it's better try to do it gracefully.

Is it OK to date your ex’s friend?

Being happy for them shows that you're confident, and ok with your self as much as it says that you're ok with them. One of the key ingredients in any healthy relationship be it business, friendship, or romance, is Trust. When your friend violated the ideal that you listed he destroyed your trust in him.

This is extremely damaging to a relationship. If these two had been honest and had wanted to not betray you they would have A told you they were going to date each other. B she would have broken up with you before sleeping with someone else. I have to applaud your forgiving attitude towards your girlfriends initially.

Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style | HuffPost Life

It takes a lot of effort and courage to forgive betrayals like you suffered. I'm sorry that you are going through this. Don't hang out with either of them.