Dating deadbeat dad

If women could have their way, none would date or marry a deadbeat dad, but unfortunately, most deadbeats-in-waiting do not walk around.
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He tells me all the plans that he has for us and mentioned marriage after one month of dating. Sometimes I feel that he wants what I have not who I am. I will try to be unbiased in my response because I struggle with respecting men who are womanizers and are irresponsible when it comes to their children.

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Nevertheless, I believe that certain behavior should not be ignored or minimized, especially behavior that can be devastating to others. Given this, I do not recommend that you marry him without seeing some changes in his behavior. Based on your report, it appears that he is looking for a woman to take care of him and carry his load.

Dating Deadbeat dads

If your gut instinct is telling you to be cautious, do not ignore what you are feeling. Some people believe in love at first sight and others believe that love takes time. I am not sure what you believe, but I would encourage you to give this relationship some time. Anyone can get married, but staying married is a different thing. Walk with caution and make sure that he brings something to the table besides being sweet, smart and kind.

Do not allow your heart to get you into a relationship that your mind cannot comprehend. Develop a list of qualities that you desire in a husband and cross-reference them with your boyfriend. This simple exercise can help you gain clarity and identify what is important to you.


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Hopefully, being in a relationship filled with commitment, reliability, and dedication is what you desire. Share your concerns with your boyfriend and seek professional counseling if he is willing to talk about his issues. I pray that you make the best decision for you. If you have questions for Dr.


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    8. The ideas, opinions, and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person.

    The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post.

    Buckingham, author of Qualified, yet Single: What Every Woman and Man Desires in a Relationship, is a highly acclaimed international clinical psychotherapist, life coach, relationship and resiliency expert, motivational speaker and corporate consultant. Every woman reading this should understand something, a father who runs away from his parental responsibilities —especially abandoning his children — is running towards something, perceived greener grass, an addiction, fear, or pure selfishness. Men are far too insecure to attempt something of such consequence alone — i.

    He requires something, or more precisely someone, to hide his shame.

    My Boyfriend is a Deadbeat Father, Should I Marry Him? - arraya.co

    Which leads us back to that original paragraph. Any woman who knowingly loves and cares for a man who has abandoned his children is no better than he is.

    The woman who stays with a deadbeat dad is just as guilty of hurting those children as he is. Her love allows him hide his sin and shame. She is the ready and willing distraction he needs, the plan B soothing his tortured soul. I already know what some are saying,. He should be doing everything in his power, legally, financially, whatever, to fix that problem. Anything less is empty excuses. And if a woman knows this, and chooses to remain with him anyway, she is equally pitiful and just a guilty.

    My Boyfriend is a Deadbeat Father, Should I Marry Him?

    Any man who will reject his children will walk out on anyone for any reason, or no reason. Unless we treat deadbeat dads more as deatbeats, nothing changes. So long as these fathers still have the arms of another to fall in and the support and affection of someone else ready to ease their conscience, there will be no reason for change and this travesty of fatherless children will continue.