What are the bases while dating

(some people use a 5th base or a 'grand slam' to refer to anal sex while other include it in the 4th A grand slam, would be achieving all of these on a first date .
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Congrats Dave and Shawna! These terminologies actually help you in communicating with your partner. But, not anymore, here is a simple guide to those baseball metaphors.

What is First Base?

If this is your first time in a relationship, then this first base will be the most memorable moment of your life. The touch starts getting a different meaning and your closeness accelerates your heart beat even when you are just sitting close to each other. Welcome to the first base of the relationship. This is a sweet gesture of love where you kiss each other softly while caressing the hair. Some reach the first base during the second date only whereas some like to take it slow.

There is no steadfast rule in a relationship, so you can take your time before the first base. You must feel comfortable before you get closer to each other. The relationship is about how you feel about each other and respect for each other, so if one of you is not ready, then the other partner should not force it. Once you have had fun in the first base with French kissing, then it is time to move on to the second. Second base also involves kissing, but this time it turns a little more intense than the first. This time around, you and your partner will be kissing, but your hands will also be put into action.

It is nothing that you have to memorize and then play by the rule. It will happen naturally. In the second base, some touching, groping, grabbing, and rubbing of the chests and breasts will take place. In this stage, you will enjoy body kissing and some sensual stroke or massage. So, basically, it is more of a skin action this time around as compared to the first base where you were confined to lips only. You will realize that you are slowly heading toward making out, but hold your thought there because you have another base before you finally land on the fourth base. This is the stage where you start forgetting where you are and concentrate more on each other.

Pleasing each other is the only thing in your mind now.

The 4 bases of a relationship

Your heart is racing faster than ever, and you are feeling sensation below the waist as well, then you are in the third base and you are closer to sex. You are now engaged in some serious petting, including oral sex. In this stage, you are reaching out below the waist and feeling and fondling, but remember sex is not happening in the third base. Sex is the last and fourth base and you are headed straight toward it now. It is also known as the Home run. Whether you are in high school or you are older than that once you cross the fourth base for the first time, you cannot call yourself a virgin anymore.

The fourth base of a relationship is where you will be making out with your partner. There are some other terminologies or the baseball metaphors that are being used while discussing sex.

What Are the Bases in Dating?

If you want to know more about them, then read on. But Magic Can Sometimes Just Be An Illusion You must be wondering why the high school girls were so concerned about a strikeout! Here is the answer. When you are not able to engage in any kind of foreplay successfully or you are not able to reach the first base of the relationship, then it is known as the Strikeout. So, there is nothing wrong, it was just that the moment was not apt for both of you.

If someone is bisexual, then they are known by this name. Next time, when you hear someone addressing someone with this name, then you know exactly what they mean. When a man is performing anal sex on another man, it is known as pitching. In catching the man is receiving the act from another man.

If you forgot what they stand for, then you can ask your friend or for that matter your partner. Your partner will be more than happy to explain every stage to you. When you and your partner are trying to get up, close, and personal, then both of you must be ready for that. It should also be clear in both of your mind about how many bases to cross. If one of you is drawing a line, then the other should respect that and not try to cross it. First, talk to each other about the bases and decide that both of you are ready for this.

Sometimes you might decide to hit the first base, but end up completing all four bases. Unexpected things happen, so it is very important that you stay prepared for that. Proper contraceptives should be used if you are trying to experiment with the bases. Hell, I stopped going on coffee dates with people I'm not interested in when it's clear they're only asking because they want more later.


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The sooner you're upfront about your intentions, the better off everyone will be. If you don't want to go "all the way" ugh , either make that clear with your actions -- keep all your clothes on -- or your words: Depends what's already been done in the course of dating. I think that early in dating, I would interpret a request for "a quiet night in" like this as a desire for a step up in intimacy- from square one to kissing, from kissing to full-on feely-up makeouts, or from full-on makeouts to intercourse.

I think you can be direct but in a playful way. So if you invite someone in after a date or over for a movie date, but then turn around and say in a vampy-finger pointed way "But don't get the wrong idea! If not, it will just come off as strange. I've had someone say back "don't think you are" and then I immediately wanted them more.


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If you want to enjoy some clothes off time without "sex" you can also say after some making out something like ok this is awkward , "I'm not interested in taking it too far tonight. Can you handle it? I'm usually way more saucier but you get the idea.

The 4 Bases Of A Relationship You Must Know: Making Out And More

Sometimes it can just be as simple as "I like you but there isn't going to be sex for awhile until I get to know you better. And if he isn't he'll disappear and he isn't the right guy for you. If the person physically moves it forward, you decline, and he tries again, then immediately end the night.

With me its all about comfort levels I've been on first dates that ended up in the bedroom, and I've dated guys for months without more than a few goodnight kisses. Things happened once I felt comfortable enough to want them to happen. Of course, for me, a lot depends on how well I know a person. Sleeping together after the first date isn't going to happen with some guy who I met online, but is likely to happen with someone I've been friendly acquaintances with for a few months. So I don't really have a timeline, it mostly depends on when I feel I can trust them, and when I feel comfortable taking things into the realm of physical.

In your case, I would be straightforward about being new to the dating scene.. If you want to "take it slow" let them know what that means to you needing time to get comfortable, a certain number of dates before you think you're ready, or "I'll tell you when I'm ready to move forward" Keep in mind, this makes you responsible for making the first move when you're sure its what you want to do.

I come from a sex-positive background with a ton of sexual assault support workers and sex educators as friends, so I am particularly sensitive to signs of disinterest and boundaries being reached. I am completely ok with "no" meaning stop right now. I don't think this is the norm for straight men. As far as bases go: I don't even know what those are. I tend to find myself in situations where we have some kind of sexual activity manual, oral, penetration; any of these counts or none at all well kissing yes but that's less sexual , there's no halfway point.

There's no "ok let's just take our tops off and nothing else", if that's what you were asking. Expect is the wrong word Makeout time, assuming signals about this were given prior. Anything more than that is a bonus. This discussion should happen before any clothes are removed. I don't think this through that much. There's nonverbal body language like the way her head tilts when our faces are close to each other, how her breathing changes, etc. Anything more than kissing usually gets a "is this ok? Generally if the clothes come off, that's a signal to touch what has been shown.

If she pushes my hands away, I check her expression and try to figure out if she's fighting for fun this usually means she's smirking or if she's upset. If the expression is hard to read, I ask. If you don't want to use those parts sexually, either discuss it or leave those clothes on. Again, I am incredibly atypical compared to the usual straight man. It's ok if these boundaries then change but at least give your partner a starting point. Be honest and straightforward.

Generally, everyone just muddles through this.

Its amazing the species reproduces. My advice is be aware--everyone and every pairing is different. A mindful approach, focusing on the situation, rather than a checklist is great. Answering for myself, definitely not. Consent and trust are sexy to play around with, but not on the first date. But from talking with friends of both genders, I think it is pretty clear that a lot of people don't see it that way at all.

People sometimes put up fake resistance expecting it to be violated, and people someones expect that resistance is fake and can be ignored. Personally I think that is a crappy way to interact and a recipe for disaster, but the reality is that you can't take it as a given that the guy you are making out with will react the way you expect or hope if you want to put the brakes on suddenly. If a girl invites me up, I'd hope that we were going to have sex, and would think of it as a reasonable possibility, but if it was just drinks and a bit of making out I certainly wouldn't complain.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being clear about your intentions. I've had girls say anything from the fact that they like taking things slow to just outright saying that they're not going to sleep with me that night, and in none of those situations did I ever consider it a negative thing.