Online dating when to become exclusive

There isn't a perfect formula that can tell you how long to date before being exclusive with someone. For some couples, it feels right to define the relationship immediately, while others prefer to date casually for a few weeks or even months before committing to exclusivity.
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If you don't feel comfortable with it, that's fine, but you should realize the girls probably think that you're dating other people. Also, 5 dates and you haven't kissed her? She's probably wondering if you're actually dating or if you think you're just activity partners. Also they may be dating other guys. The time to have the exclusivity talk is when you want to be exclusive. Definitely before you have sex - but having sex doesn't imply exclusivity.

I learned that the hard way. It's better to have the awkward talk and make sure you're both on the same page. I've never been on a date via online dating website, but I'm not sure why it matters in the context of this question that you met these women online. If you like either of them and want to be more physical, just try to kiss them at the end of your next date.


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It's going to be awkward. If you haven't had a conversation about exclusivity then it is okay to still be seeing other people. There might be an expectation of exclusivity if you sleep together, but unless you communicate about it you won't know. If it doesn't come up before you have sex I assume you meant sex by "sleep together" then I suggest asking her if she has that expectation afterwards. If she does, then you can decide to stop having sex with her if you are not ready to make that commitment.

Communicate Your Intentions

You can also just not mention it and continue having sex with her and seeing other people, but there is a chance that she expects exclusivity in that case but doesn't communicate it, which may end up with someone getting hurt because their expectations were not met. I highly recommend communicating more than less. It's only a commitment step if you want it to be and agree that it is. What you are thinking is probably fairly similar to what many other people think.

Just talk about it and you won't have to think because you will know. A normal pace in my experience is to be trying to kiss her within the first three "official" dates. The guy is stereotypically supposed to take the lead on this. Everyone's relationship is dynamic, but if she is like most women she is expecting you to make the first move.

You're supposed to invite them back to your apartment if that's what you want to do. If you don't want them to see your apartment or meet your roommates, you will have a harder time moving forward with a physical relationship unless you can get her to invite you to her place. It is okay to be seeing other people right up until the point where you've agreed to be exclusive. That said, you should have that conversation before you sleep with them.

There's nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple people but everyone involved needs to know that's what's happening. Yes, that may be an awkward conversation. You should have it. Yes for some people, no for others.

How Many Dates Before Relationship Talk?

They may be wondering what's taking you so long. As you're parting, look about yourself a little bashfully and ask something suitably rom-com, like "Would it be crazy if I really wanted to kiss you? These are what I consider to be sane guidelines for ethical human interaction. There is no guarantee that the other people involved feel the same way, or conduct themselves along similar lines. I know it's hard to start the conversation but for any answers beyond the real of speculation you're really going to need to ask them. I kind of disagree about making yourself kiss them after the next day even if it's awkward.

That's a great way to make sure you never hear from the girl again. Do you actually want to kiss any of these girls? If not, then either make it clear that you're only hanging out with them as friends. If yes, then your behavior during the dates and your dates should be flirty, fun, touchy-feely, high-fivey, elbow-bumpy, silly and playful, so then when it came to kiss someone it wouldn't be awkward because you'll be used to at least casual contact before you try to just come forward and kiss someone.

If you're just going out to boring dinner for dates and then you want to ask her up to your place, it'll be awkward because you'll feel like a tool for asking, she'll wonder what that means and might not want to come up because she might assume that you might assume that you expect her to sleep with you, and if she comes up, you'll both go inside and be super self conscious about where to sit, etc. If you're at your place for a pre-planned activity where you're like, "come on in, sit down while I load the movie" or "alright lets start making some fancy pad thai, the kitchen's this way" then the awkwardness goes away, somewhat.

Oh, as far as exclusivity You don't have to tell the girl that you're seeing someone else, but if she asks, don't lie. If you want to be exclusive with one girl, then talk to her about it, ask her if she's on the same page.

How to Move From Just Dating to Exclusive | LoveToKnow

If you don't want to be exclusive with any of them, then I think it's OK to keep seeing multiple girls, as long as you're honest if they ask, and as long as if you're going to get naked with them to any extent, they are not under the impression that you're only seeing them. I'm in a similar situation. First date but I like the guy. Also seeing somebody I've known socially for a long time who seems very interested. Other people have asked me out. I'm not the type to see multiple people, but maybe that's caused me to settle too soon for the wrong guys I'm just feeling it out and being as honest as I can.

I'm in a similar online dating situation. I expect that whoever I'm seeing is seeing other people until we have the exclusivity talk. I personally won't sleep with someone I'm not exclusive with, but that's just me. As you can see from these answers, different people have different expectations.

The people to ask are the people you're dating. Personally, I only date one person at a time, and I want the same from the person I'm dating. But you don't know until you ask. Since you're on OK Cupid, though, you can just state your expectations in your profile. Most women will probably appreciate your honesty.

I met my wife via online dating.

How Many Dates Before Relationship Talk?

As for whether or not it's ok to be dating more then one person at a time? For me, I usually decided if I was going to give the relationship a "shot" after about 3 or 4 dates. At that point, I would not initiate or accept dates with someone else if I felt the current person was someone I could see myself being with long term. And if I didn't see it going anywhere I'd probably end it after 5 dates. And I would not sleep with two people at the same time. That's asking for trouble both emotionally and for health reasons. Of course, in today's world it seems like everyone does the casual sex thing.

But it was never for me. That being said, I don't think there's a need to have the commitment talk until at least a few months. You might be confused as to what I'm saying I make a personal decision to date one person at a time, minus the first few dates. But I make that decision for myself.


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    8. I would never ask if we're in a "committed" relationship for at least a few months. It puts pressure on the other person. If they bring it up I gladly agree, but I never brought it up myself in the beginning. I'm not good at doing more then one thing at a time. And that went for dating as well.

    But I never expected my partner to decide on being committed until at least a couple of months. After maybe 3 months then I think it's fine to casually bring it up. At that point if you want a monogamous relationship and they don't, you might have to go your separate ways. As for your bonus question As the guy, it's your job to make the move on that. Recognize the difference between seeing the potential for a relationship with someone and actually developing feelings for that person. This will become apparent as you continue to see one another:. You feel great when you are around your special someone and you always have fun together.

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    That doesn't necessarily mean you will fare well together in a relationship. That's why it's important to assess if he or she is a good fit. Fortunately, there are some common signs to look out for that indicate a positive match. A great relationship match will:. On the other hand, if he or she displays consistently negative behavior, there's a good chance that a relationship will not work out. Common red flags include:. People who display negative behaviors at the beginning of a relationship are unlikely to change. If this is the case, it's best to cut it off now instead of moving forward.

    If the positives reign, however, it's time to take the next step. Does your special someone know exactly how you feel? Perhaps you've been dropping hints, trying to communicate that you're very interested in this person, but you haven't said it outright. While some people are adept at reading between the lines when it comes to romance, others aren't so gifted.

    Genuinely share your thoughts and feelings with the person you are dating. Be physically affectionate as well. Placing a hand on the forearm or leaning in close are great ways to show that you're interested and comfortable.