Purity while dating

Dating couples need a game plan: a set of ideas, attitudes and actions the Lord in our decision to abstain gave us a pattern of purity that has.
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Be sure to work on all aspects of your relationship to diffuse the typical fixation on physical intimacy. Hobbies, skills, new challenges, gifts, talents, ministry and personal goals, conflict resolution, and communication skills are all necessary facets for developing a solid and interesting friendship on the spiritual foundation of Christ. Go through at least one book on Christian dating, perhaps even a pre-marital workbook, together. Go to church regularly. Participate in ministry together. Serving together in a shared ministry will increase your awareness of the world around you and dilute your focus on each other.

Do more group activities than alone-together activities, especially if physical intimacy is becoming a distraction. This would involve breaking off all communications for an agreed amount of time to seek the Lord and His direction and strength as well as consult others to restart the relationship on a clean note.

Have accountability partners, both individually and as a couple. As your relationship becomes serious and focused on marriage, have a married couple mentor you together.

5 Ways to Safeguard the Purity of Your Relationship

And do not discount the wisdom and support that comes from premarital counseling. Focus on the ultimate goal of making it the altar free of guilt and shame and with a testimony that pleases God and encourages and blesses others. Ten tips to stay chaste.

About Randy Alcorn

Spring has sprung, so does this mean love is in the air? The heart of the marriage mystery. Why I wished I had stayed pure before marriage. I was so confused because I still had my virginity. I grew up in the church and so many of the teachings on purity was about being a virgin for your husband. So, why was I so consumed with the shame and disappointment as if I had had sex?

Even though I maintained my virginity, I gave away my purity. When I chose to be impure, I butchered the gift of purity in which Jesus died for. I realized that if I did not value my purity, a gift God gave me, then did I really value what Jesus did for me on the Cross? I learned a lot about the difference between purity and virginity during this season of my life. Purity is a way life, and my virginity is something I give. What mattered, was what I chose to do with what I now knew about the value of my purity.

I wondered a lot how my future husband and I would protect our purity before marriage, and if I really had the strength to fight it. This was when the Lord began challenging me with the idea to not kiss my boyfriend until he was committed to me enough to be my husband. What kind of man would even want to be with me once I told him we cannot kiss? However, as the Lord began to soften my heart I chose to take a huge leap of faith — I decided to wait until I was engaged to kiss my husband.

I made this commitment before my husband and I were even dating. The funny thing is that God was already dealing with my husband about waiting to kiss his future bride. When Rony and I chose to not kiss, God introduced us to so many new avenues of romance that I never knew even existed. It truly awakened something special. The choice to protect my purity, a gift that God gave me, began in my mind and in my heart first.

Sometimes we have to get to a point where we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us from compromising.

10 thoughts on “15 Tips to Stay Pure While Waiting and Dating Without Mating”

So, I would ask you — Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Are you willing to destroy any DVDs, magazines, websites, etc. Are you willing to stop talking to someone who continually causes you to lust? Are you willing to set physical boundaries with the person you are with, even though the world would say it is not normal?

Are you willing to pray and truly listen to what God has to say to you in his Word, or are you too afraid to even go there with Him? Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

5 Ways to Safeguard the Purity of Your Relationship | Project Inspired

In conclusion, we must be willing to do whatever it takes to protect ourselves from falling into the sins of our biggest temptations. Plan to pray at the end of the date to thank Him for it. Knowing this prayer is coming will help you to be sure to control yourself and please God. Imagine your parents and church leaders are watching you through the window.

Would that change how you behave? When you sense the temptation coming, before things start to get out of control, RUN.


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When it comes to sexual temptation, it always pays to be a coward. Write out your own standards and enforce them yourself—never depend on your date.

12 Guidelines for Dating Purity

You as an individual are fully responsible and accountable to God for what you do Romans When the attacks come—and they will—be ready to take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God Ephesians 6: What do you want them to be doing now with someone else? Even if you are no longer a virgin you can and should commit yourself to secondary virginity—to remain sexually pure from this day forward. You need more than good intentions to maintain your purity: If you are committed to a relationship with a growing Christian, formulate a plan to prevent falling back into premarital intimacy.

Get creative, get radical, and do all you can to avoid temptation. Even a forgiven person must deal with many consequences to his sin.