I am quite conservative and it would be nice for me to share the most likely to be controlling, such as the conservative Catholic men in your question, that you don't see when your dating,even if your dating for a long time.
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As you say, dwell in the Holy Spirit yourself, and hope that she will be compelled to follow. As a clarification all I'm saying is if he cannot get over her lack of faith, if it's going to be a stumbling block in the relationship, a relationship which might end in marriage, then he should end the relationship rather than expect her to change. It is a mistake to stay in a relationship for the sake of who the person might one day become.
If he is not comfortable loving her as she is now it could poison the relationship. I think he meant "If you can't [continue to lover her despite this,] I would get out of the relationship as soon as possible. This is firm advice. Until my current gf, I had never dated a catholic and it has been such a relief to not always have that difference of beliefs hanging overhead. Let me tell you one of the best things I've ever heard: You need to live your Faith daily and have it be a testament to your beliefs.
Remember that when you're with someone, you're with them for who they are now and not who want them to be in the future.
It is ok to have your SO's faith be a factor in your relationships but you can't expect her to be Catholic because you are. If having a Catholic as an SO is important to you, you need to be honest with her about it and realize that maybe this relationship may not work out. I am Catholic and married to a non Catholic. It is not easy! We have to carefully navigate conflicts, especially on how to raise our kids.
Would your girlfriend allow you to raise children Catholic? My husband is fine with me baptizing our kiddos, bringing them to mass, putting them in Catholic school and saying prayers before meals so I am very blessed in that regard.
But, it is lonely going to a Christmas mass on my own with the kids and seeing the other families all together. It's tough deciding what to teach the kids when they get older. It's lonely praying alone and believing alone and not being able to fall back on a common faith in times of crisis my husband is not religious.
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Our marriage isn't sacramental as he is unbaptized and not having that grace is difficult. And it's also hard navigating conflicts around birth control. All that said, I don't regret marrying my husband. He is a wonderful guy, a great Dad, and an all around moral and good person. We have a good marriage and 3 great kids. I just want you to go in with your eyes open if you see a long term future for you and your gf. It's definitely easier marrying someone who shares your faith and there will be times where you will feel troubled being the only believer.
Also, from personal experience here, preaching at her won't help a thing. When I was actively trying to convert my husband we were dating I got so annoying that he left! I try to live my faith and find joy in it and hope that him watching me and finding so much goodness in my life from my faith will sew positive seeds. But mostly I just pray for him.
I'd put it to prayer and see what your conscience is telling you on the matter. There are a lot of undoubtably well-intentioned people here encouraging you to relax, re-appropriate or ignore altogether your apostolic zeal, but anyone with a thorough understanding of our faith knows how important, not to mention charitable, it is to bring others to faith in Christ through the Church. And should you two marry, I can tell you that through my experience and the testimony of many priests I know, it can be extremely frustrating to make a mixed marriage work, especially when one or both members are strong and principled in their faith, and more so when kids are involved.
Contrary to what others are suggesting, this isn't a matter between "loving" your girlfriend or not. It is in her best interest to come to the light, and hoping, praying, and trying to get her there is definitely showing her that you love her. So if you aren't willing to make her conversion or at least her honest look at converting a condition for the relationship, remember to pray, pray, pray.
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Offering sacrifices fasting, etc works too. Monica is a great saint to develop a devotion to, for the perseverance she showed in praying for her husband and son. If possible, watch the Catholicism series by Fr. Barron that came out last year. It's a bit long 10 1-hour DVDs but they are all really good.
I agree with what others have said - I think it's very possible to have a good partnership where one member is Catholic and the other is not, assuming the nonCatholic member is committed to being supportive. However, if the idea of being with this woman 50 years from now just as you are now - with her still not Catholic - makes you say "No!!!!!
You can't MAKE anyone convert.
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I go to mass and small church community and he supports my desire to connect with God and my community. He has an open invitation to attend mass with me and has told me that he will soon because it is important to me that he understand this particular aspect of who I am we are currently doing transatlantic dating, so it's not like he has an opportunity to go with me on a weekly basis. He has no problem with me baptizing our future children--since it means nothing to him--or taking them to church regularly.
I wouldn't have a Catholic wedding anyways my family is not Catholic and it would be weird for him but he has said that having a friend of mine who is a Catholic theologian preside and integrating scripture when we do marry would be perfectly fine. In other words, we have talked about the day to day things that, not being on the same page on this bit, might be problematic down the road. For me, that is more than I have ever found with many of the Christian men I've dated.
Most of all, he makes me happy and vice versa.
5 Reasons To Date A Conservative Catholic
I cannot change his heart. That's God's job not mine. I can only help the process by being the best partner to him I can be, which includes praying for God to wiggle His way into my SO's heart. But I can't force him to believe. I can only be honest about who I am and what I believe. I love him for the goofy, sweet, ridiculous, brilliant man he is today. Sharing a belief in the existence of God as I know Him is not a dealbreaker for me.
If having that shared belief is necessary for you, then you can't expect her to change. She might, but she might not. If you decide you cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn't share your beliefs, that's ok. You aren't a bad person or judgmental or anything like that. You have a set of priorities. If she is a good partner and your relationship is able to progress in a healthy manner despite this disagreement then she might be the woman God wants you to be with.
If this becomes a stumbling block to your relationship, then she probably isn't. I am engaged to a non catholic, and we have never let it get in our way. We have been dating for about five years now. Not once have our own personal beliefs caused issues.
Stages Of A Traditional Catholic Courtship | Traditional Catholic Femininity 🌹🙏🌹
If she is confused about what I believe, I teach her. If I am confused about hers, she teaches me. That is how a relationship works. If you are willing to end it because her beliefs do not align with you religiously, then I suggest you get out of the relationship. Love is about devotion, respect, and tolerance.
If you guys can't do that, then don't drag it out any longer. A Catholic is not permitted to have genital intercourse until married, no matter how much it seems right or you love each other, or if there is a desire to live together to see if it will work out first, etc. A non-Catholic must accept this AND show respect for the person they love by not ridiculing this belief and not tempting them to have sex.
If it still happens, there must be sorrow and remorse, and encouragement by the non-Catholic to go to confession and a stronger commitment to keep it from happening. A woman on the pill, a man using a condom, and any other apparatus or method used for the purpose of preventing conception of a child.
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A Catholic can never, ever, agree to the use of artificial contraception IN marriage, as well as prior to marriage. A non-Catholic must accept that the person they love is pro-life and open to life, and believes contracepting is contrary to life and true love. A Catholic is ready to forgive and have mercy on those who wrong and hurt them. They are ready to sacrifice for the good or need of another. A non-Catholic must accept that they person they love is someone who does not love selectively or conditionally, nor is a hypocrite.
A Catholic makes time to pray to God and strengthen their inner, spiritual lives, and includes God in all important decisions. A non-Catholic must accept that the person they love is a person of personal prayer and includes God in the relationship. That Jesus Christ, who was crucified, died and was buried, rose from the dead on the third day. All aspects of being a Catholic is in vain if Jesus did not rise from the dead.
A non-Catholic must accept that the one they love believes this as historical fact and as the cornerstone of faith. So what do you think so far? Perhaps he loves you but is critical or annoyed or mean to others who have wronged him or you. If this is the case, then you are not actually dating a Catholic.
He might say he is Catholic, but he is not a practicing one. Sadly, there are many baptized Catholics who still call themselves Catholic, though they no longer believe or live it. But if he holds true to these key things, then you have to decide if you can live them, even if he never attempts to get you to become Catholic.