While there are million college-educated women ages 22 to 29 in the United other than spouses with whom they share their life if they came from different When she first met his parents, for instance, she was a little surprised when she if you're dating someone who has a higher level of education (or makes more.
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As a result of their disparate upbringings, the two have totally different outlooks on life — which is partially why they're so attracted to each other. He excels at chilling," Kim said. He loves working with his hands. Do you have any idea how hot it is to watch your boyfriend chop wood? Having love in common: But mixed-collar relationships aren't just happening because husband-hungry women are venturing outside their own social circles to find marriageable men, per Birger's thesis.
Rather, it seems that mixed-collar relationships happen simply because both partners are compatible.
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We've been together since. Emily is not blind to the class differences between her and Alex. When she first met his parents, for instance, she was a little surprised when she had to sleep on the couch for the stay and his family ordered pizza for dinner. Their relationship works simply because "we enjoy the simple pleasures and, fuck, he makes me laugh.
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Bridging that wide gap: We can pretend we live in a classless society all we want, but there are nonetheless a few inevitable speed bumps that come with mixed-collar relationships. For instance, money is cited by most couples as one of the biggest sources of fights and stress. Navigating a relationship where your outlooks about money differ can exacerbate the tension of dating someone of a different economic status. In her research, Streib found that people from different classes tend to approach their relationships differently. White-collar professionals like to manage and organize things, while working-class people like to "go with the flow more.
Kim, for example, has noticed that Zach tends to dream bigger than she dares. I view home ownership as totally out of reach for me, and I hesitate to get financially involved with him. He dreams about luxury items like boats and RVs. I just dream about paying off my student loans.
Nonetheless, couples in mixed-collar relationships say there's a fairly easy way to transcend economic differences: Letting go of a checklist: People who enter relationships with a "come as you are" attitude often have the most long-lasting ones. That's not going to work, especially if it's class difference — it's just going to be a frustrating experience for both people" Streib told New York magazine. Couples in mixed-collar relationships echoed this sentiment, saying that in order for such relationships to thrive, you need to detach from both your personal and social expectations of who your partner "should" be.
Among other things, that means keeping your ego in check if you're dating someone who has a higher level of education or makes more money than you do. It also means relaxing some of your personal expectations for who and what your ideal partner "should" be. That doesn't mean settling so much as it means figuring out what really matters to you in a relationship.
In most cases, the answer usually isn't whether your partner makes a six-figure salary or has a master's degree. I did go out once with a guy who only went to high school, but it was too hard. I'm a college professor. It's hard to find things to talk about and he just had no idea what he didn't know.
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It was hard from his end, too; he kept commenting on my "big words" and just didn't understand the things I was saying. Chit chat is okay, but for a long-term relationship, I need someone who can challenge me intellectually and feel comfortable discussing my interests international politics, science, etc. I'm pretty cerebral and find myself attracted to men who are as well. I couldn't care less about what a guy looks like, but a guy with serious brain power is a total turn on. I think people tend to feel most comfortable with those who are in roughly the same spot, intellectually and educationally.
I have a PhD, so there aren't too many men with more education, but I don't feel inferior with those who do. I'd feel turned on and excited by someone like that actually. I think there might be a sort of "minimum threshhold" for many, where the differences don't matter so much.
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To me, the threshhold is the Masters' degree. Not because I "demand" a Masters' degreed guy I don't ask for curriculum vitae or anything! We naturally have more in common to talk about, which is really important to me.
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It doesn't matter much to me if he has a degree beyond that. Everybody has their own threshhold though.
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I just find that some level of graduate education is mine. I would not feel intimidated or inferior. Intelligence should matter somewhat, but it shouldn't be a deciding factor. No, actually I would want him to be more educated or at least more knowledgeable. Although he would have to be patient and willing to explain to me things I don't understand. I like it when guys know things and explains thoroughly to me.
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It challenges me and his knowledge is hot. Hummm, no, I would consider it. Just because you don't have a degree doesn't mean you're a idiot. Maybe the guy is really street smart and is doing really well in his life. I would talk to him to see if our convo can flow and if it does it won't be a problem.