Nov 23, She's a worst friend. Why keep someone who has backstabbing blood in your close circle? To see if she does your next ex too, or maybe an actual partner?.
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- My Best Friend Is Dating My EX Now, And This Is How It Feels
- I’m dating my best friend’s ex and she won’t speak to me
Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself. Is this girl really special to you?
Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too? Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind. If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate. And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits.
If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation.
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Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell. They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it. Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny. I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct.
We ran into each other at a party. Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate — like absolute magic — and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other. In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship. I suggest you focus less on how your feelings are impairing your present romantic relationship and more on how to repair what was clearly an important past friendship.
I wonder how many people have hooked up with a new, exciting lover only to miss the mundanity of their ex, or married and had kids only to hanker after their singleton days, or even moved to a better paid job and felt nostalgic for the camaraderie of the less lucrative one. We humans have the ability to travel between our own two ears, come up with new ideas, imagine alternative worlds and encounter imaginary people. Insist on a rendezvous and listen sympathetically to what your friend has to say, explain how bad the situation has left you feeling and try to establish new and workable ground rules for how you can return to being soul mates.
If you shrug off the guilt and set your sights on restoring your friendship I suspect at least two of you will be far happier.
My Best Friend Is Dating My EX Now, And This Is How It Feels
If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella. Follow her on Twitter mariellaf1. Topics Relationships Dear Mariella. Both of them were very close to me, and I never saw this coming. I believed that they were sent from God to make me happy. Boy, it was quite a shipment and delivery if I may say so.
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Introducing my boyfriend to my best friend was very stupid. Do you know what was even more stupid? Going out together, you know the three of us.
I’m dating my best friend’s ex and she won’t speak to me
Giving her the chance to get to know him so well, to know his weaknesses, his flaws and his good sides. You never really know when somebody is watching you and desiring the things you have in life. How could I trust HER so blindly?
How could I have trusted HIM so blindly? NO, it is not OK to do it, under any circumstances!
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What do you hope to gain? What do you hope to get out of it? Well, I can tell you, you can lose much more than you can gain. There is no excuse.