Dating spreadsheet

Online Dating Spreadsheet - using a spreadsheet to keep track of the women you meet while online dating can be very helpful. Sure, this is a.
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Since I already had a therapist, one who specializes in relationship counseling, I made him my project manager. Each week, we spent minutes of our counseling session looking at my week's progress, and what my blocks are for instance, time management issues and the unconscious messages I was sending out in my dating profile.

Then we thought about what goals were realistic for me to accomplish by the following week. Having someone else provide an objective opinion, who also validated my own decisions, was immensely helpful, especially during the times I experienced rejection. He also provided insight into the male perspective in dating, which helped me develop more empathy for my would-be suitors.


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If dating is a numbers game, I had to go out and meet as many men as possible, despite the sweet temptations of staying in. I use Trello , an online project management wall, to organise everything. It lays everything out into handy columns: To Do, Doing and Done. I set up weekly sprints to get through my tasks, such as writing to five men a week, responding to the messages I received, going to at least one singles event a week, and, of course, actually going on dates.

Dating By Spreadsheet: How I Used Project Management And Business Skills To Fix My Love Life

Seeing my progress as I moved tasks to the Done list was encouraging. I felt that I was making progress. Because I'm so anxious about dating, I can overly focus on one person when I click with someone. However, my therapist advised me to go out with several people at once. For instance, when we set my weekly goals, I'd decide to go out with at least two different men during the week. Dating many men took the pressure off any one person for me, and I was able to focus on having a good time with the person I was out with.

And since I had a pre-determined goal, I wasn't filtering out men I wouldn't normally go out with. I just needed to hit my goals. Previously, I'd come up with any reason to not go out with a man. Maybe he was too tall, or lived too far away, or was too outdoorsy. I often put 'too' in the way of getting to a first date. But by diversifing and going for numbers, I was meeting men I wouldn't normally consider and having a good time. I never knew it would feel so good to not date my type. So, how's it all going? Well, after all this -- the professional photos, the spreadsheet, the project manager, the data software and the goals -- I'm still a nervous dater.

With every woman you go out with, you will either experience "chemistry" or you won't. And there are different degrees of this "chemistry". Scoring a 10 does not mean you jump into bed with her - but it does mean that the two of you are extremely "into" one another Some women are fun, some are not so fun. Fun is a good quality to have in a woman, and so that is why this attribute is included in the spreadsheet. By "fun" - I mean she makes you smile Getting a BJ is fun, and can hike up this particular score in a hurry.

A "1" might mean she is white trash or an escort and a "5" might mean she is middle class, and a "10" might mean she is a member of the Kennedy family. Remember - dental hygiene is an indicator of overall hygiene , if you know what I mean. Sex by 3rd Date?

The dates.

After all, we are in "midlife" - we can't wait around forever! And if she is that smart, she might be able to support you. For example, chews with mouth open, bad hair, 80s hair, 80s bangs, bad breath, booger on face, talks too much, mustache, etc. If an annoyance is particularly disgusting like a downtown odor , you might hike up the negative point value to or more, as appropriate. If she can support you so you don't have to work , then give her an extra 10 points, too.

Just like with the Job score, if she is mega-wealthy and can support you, then give her an extra 10 or more points here. There are always additional factors that don't quite fit into the numerically scored items, and so here is where those qualitative items are placed. For me, none of my top summer men panned out. I ended two because neither felt quite right, and Mark and I mutually decided we had different dating goals. None of them seemed to match another data point, which told a better story.

Kris was a med student rolling briefly through my city on a rotation. I was a young journalist about to write that dating book, and neither of us was anywhere near the same trajectory. We dated briefly and remained friends. Oh, but I liked him so much. Kris was European with light brown hair and an athletic build—a more refined version of the all-American guys I liked growing up. He liked wine and playful banter and was smooth in everything he did, from the way he took my hand on our first date to the voice he used when discussing theory.

Fox45 Date Spreadsheet - Understanding Dating Styles

Curious, open-minded, witty, and kind, he lacked a certain sort of self-awareness; if I seemed to crystallize his thoughts, he expanded mine. He scored slightly but significantly above Mark. My gut-felt potential with Kris, a "hmm, maybe," was a sharp distinction from the usual flutters of anxiety or confusion—and perhaps the bar to which I still compared others.

In spending an afternoon quantifying my summer dates, I learned a lot. Men about to move or working on major job changes, for example, were not appealing to my commitment-oriented sensibilities.

Ladies, You're Just A Cell On A Dude's Dating Spreadsheet: Gothamist

Everyone does not date for a relationship, and I need the potential to exist to truly enjoy myself. Love may or may not be blind, but wishful thinking and wanting— wanting to feel chemistry, wanting a guy to do or be what he says—is a yellow light for me.


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    • Qualities like kindness, trustworthiness, dependability and honesty matter a ton to me and frequently cause me to hang on longer with men of sterling character, despite a noticeable lack of spark. It was also easy to be fooled early on: Some chemistry-abundant men proclaimed to have certain qualities of character that did not pan out, ever. To me, "excitement" in dating means a genuine openness and desire to move forward and see how it goes, some feeling of potential and the rational belief that a relationship could develop.

    You can trust your gut. Think of it as logic supporting the spark of emotion and guiding force of intuition. In November, I finally met someone I was genuinely excited about, someone who felt right in my gut, who backed up my perceptions with consistency, honesty, chemistry, and solid reviews from my friends who knew him first. When I opened my spreadsheet to write this story, for kicks, I decided to plug his numbers into my old categories and get his total score.

    Want more dating tips? These mindful dating apps are exactly what you need to create a conscious relationship.