Losing my virginity to a hook up

I lost my virginity to a Tinder hookup, yes, after a few (but not too many!) drinks in a tiny twin bed in a building with a thousand-something other.
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My point is this: What is wrong is the idea that you need to feel ashamed for making any of these choices. The right choice is the one that you choose, and anyone who says otherwise can, respectfully, kiss my ass. Katie is a fourth year Health Studies student at Western University. Born in Canada but growing up in a multitude of countries re: When she's not Facetiming her dog, she can usually be found at the gym, making iced coffee, pointing at other people's dogs, or resisting the urge to order pizza at the strike of midnight.

You can find her on instagram at katieeolney. Skip to main content. Check us out on social media! Men, Let's Hear You Moan! Sex January 14, I was pretty experienced in everything sexual except the actual penetrative act, and I just wanted to get the big first time out of the way. I wanted to be able to go to town and pick up boys and not have to worry about it hurting, or that talk. Everyone was dressed as pirates and he had a plastic pistol.

He leaned in for a kiss that left me wet and trembling.


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He drew back and said softly, eyes locked on mine: His clear experience and the prospect of what was about to happen left me mute. I nodded, checked around me to make sure no one saw us leaving, and we went upstairs to his room. My legs were shaking still, in no small part to my tipsy state, and I stumbled on the stairs. He helped me up, and we eventually made it to his room.

I mentioned that we had something in common, because I love Scrubs, but he was definitely more interested in taking off my clothes. We made out more. I do think you possibly aren't coming into this with the right attitude though and you may want to think about what you actually want out of sex and what kinds of relationships you want to have in your life. Also, two major things that you do definitely want to worry about when it comes to sex are pregnancy and STDs. A condom is only going to protect you so far in both of those areas so keep that in mind.

If you're set on losing your virginity this way, I would actually recommend you go to someone who does sex work professionally. That way, at least there will be no expectations from you other than "have you got x dollars? Also, if you're angry about being put in the classification of "people like you," refer to above where you unilaterally discount all the women at your school, and then realize that's how it feels.

Be honest about your experience level in your profile. But - most importantly - find a way to do that and still be careful. You don't know who you are meeting when you set up a meeting like that.

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I would use a Google Voice number and an email address you set up especially for this communication, and I'd probably look a little bit away from where I actually lived. I would meet that person in a public place first, again a ways away from your regular routine, and I'd see what kind of feeling I got from them - if it is okay, I'd proceed to a hotel that I had picked out, and I wouldn't go back to someone else's place or their choice of hotel if you can help it.

And use protection for the actual sex. Yes, that sounds uber cautious, maybe I have seen too many SVU episodes or read too many news stories, but you want to be smart about your own safety especially if you are intending to put yourself in a vulnerable position naked and having sex. For one thing, if your partner is more experienced than you which they most likely will be if they are cruising online for hookups, and you're a heterosexual guy , she will know.

And think less of you for not just saying so from the beginning.

LOSING MY VIRGINITY! (STORYTIME/ADVICE)

Or if for some reason she doesn't figure it out, she'll just think you're a bad lay. Maybe none of this matters to you because you don't care at all about your potential sexual partner's feelings or enjoyment. If that's the case, you need to seriously question your own motives, because that's a shitty way to behave to another person. Except to a professional sex worker, who expects only to be paid promptly and in full, to be treated with basic civility, and to have their boundaries respected. OP, if what you want is to get your rocks off and you don't care about the other person's enjoyment, maybe a professional is the best bet.

Just be polite to them, as you are or should be to the person who cuts your hair or cleans your teeth. Also, if you want to verse yourself is normal, adult sex "culture" a bit, check out Dan Savage's podcast series. Yes, some of the questions are out there, but most of it is very vanilla, very regular.


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Normal people asking normal questions. Some more normal than others. And I'm sure I've heard your scenario there before. In that case, I feel like Dan said to hire a pro and treat her well.

I Lost My Virginity to a Tinder Hookup and My Only Regret Was Not Telling My Mom

The first time you have sex is generally not the best thing ever, but it's made much more pleasant by being with someone who at least cares about you a little. My first advice to you would be to relax; sex will happen sooner or later. In my experience, the more you worry about it, the less likely it is to happen. Just chill out and do whatever it is you do, and sooner or later someone will pop up who wants to have sex with you, even if you've spent no effort at all to find them.

It's one of those weird natural laws. But, if you feel that you must have sex right now , with someone , it's really a pretty easy thing to do. Craigslist is an easy option, but be aware that finding a sexual partner that way is akin to screening potential roommates; you're going to get a shit-ton more weirdos answering your ad than people you'd actually like to bed down with.

If you're in a college town, you can probably find a house party to go to on any given weekend. You're probably in a class or two with girls who'd like to get down, too; is getting into a study group an option? Athletic activities of any kind are often a solid bet for meeting people, too, with the added benefits that they are good for you, and tend to foster a sort of 'esprit de corps' For me it was capoeira. Lastly, I find it hard to believe that on a college campus pretty much anywhere "most of the girls around [there] aren't that hot anyway," and that that is such an impediment to you that you'd rather just have sex with a stranger you met online.

When You Lose Your Virginity To A One Night Stand | Thought Catalog

If only a 'hot' girl is going to flip your switch, maybe you've set your sights too high. That kind of 'waiting for the perfect person' attitude will probably keep you from having sex with anyone , forever, and is kind of lame besides. And be safe about it, no matter what you do. Dude, are you for real?

I can understand where you're coming from- sometimes, sex can start to seem like such a Big Deal that you just want to get it over with and leave the Virgin Club behind forever. The thing is, sex isn't some kind of magical act that transforms you into the kind of person who has sex all the time.

It's just another kind of intimacy you have with another person, another thing to do with someone you think is hot when you get naked together. What exactly are you trying to get out of this? What do you want your life to look like on the other side? My guess is that if you make this happen, you'll still be in basically the same situation you're in right now- kind of lonely, frustrated with the social scene at your school, and not having sex. You may have marked "Had sex, one time" off your life to-do list, but that's just the beginning!

You need to remember that you're playing the long game, here. People expect a certain level of idiocy from freshmen boys when it comes to sex and relationships, but that shit gets less cute when you're older and the girls you're going after know a little better. I'm worried that if you start down this path, divorcing the act of sex from the process of developing a relationship with someone that leads to sex, you'll be back on AskMe in 5 years wondering why all of your friends have hot awesome girlfriends and you can't get a date.

There are a million questions on this site from guys asking how to flirt with girls, how to get girls to go out with them, how to sustain a relationship- go read them. I agree with everything dontjumplarry said; the one caveat I might add is that if part of your reason for doing this is so that down the line with someone whose opinion matters to you, you will be good or at least better in bed - I actually think guys whose sexual experience mainly comes from one night stands are generally a lot worse.

Being good in bed is all about learning what this individual person likes, and I think that can take a lot of time and trust to learn, especially if you're dealing with people and especially with young women who might be shy or bashful about it. Apologies if sexual prowess is not in fact a factor for you in this.

Go for it any way you like, craigslist, sex worker, what-have-you, use protection.

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Saying your subsequent sex life will be irreparably damaged by the wrong choice now, or hired help is 'really not the best thing for your development into a good sexual partner' just ain't right imho. You clearly want to get the virginity thing out the way, it's getting you down, so go ahead. Of course real relationships are much more fun and much more difficult, but you'll find that out in due course. As you can see, lots of people are injecting a 'don't do this' from a moral sense into here. I don't necessarily agree with them, but it really depends on your motivation. Why do you want to lose your virginity badly enough to stage a random hookup?

Is it performance anxiety? Feeling like you're too old to be a virgin? In these cases I would be wary of rejecting everybody's advice. It would suck to do it and then regret it because you realized you were making this decision for people other than yourself. So I suggest you really think about this. However, I'm going to assume based on your post that your reasons are coming from you, internally, that you don't care about 'making it special' and you just want to get laid.

Firstly, if you are looking for a craigslist hookup, you should probably lower your attractiveness standards.

Is it worth it to lose your virginity to a hookup?

Getting hot women to sleep with you probably isn't going to happen over the internet without some substantial effort involved on your part. If that isn't what you want, I would suggest hiring a professional. If you are interested in something intermediate between a hookup and a traditional date, I might third the suggestion of trying OKcupid.

You'll get to look at a fair number of women, but the stakes are pretty low in terms of talking to people and rejection. If you have a good connection with somebody, you might want to sleep with them even more which is a nice bonus. In terms of what to say, I would definitely tell them that you are a virgin.

You can put this in your profile or wait until you're talking to somebody, up to you, but do make sure to communicate it. That will take a lot of the pressure off you to perform, and you won't have to be second-guessing yourself "Does she know? Hopefully this will let you enjoy it more. Also, I think you'll be more successful if you can show an honest desire to make a good sexual partner. Good partners, for example, care about the sexual pleasure of both parties and not only themselves.