Okcupid dating fails

Messages from strange individuals on the dating site OkCupid.
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A counter-intuitive result e. Most people think data ought to speak for itself. But data can be manipulated.


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To put it frankly, data can be manipulated to show practically any result that the scientist would like it to. Why did OkCupid eliminate users outside of the ages of 18 and 32? Why did they eliminate users who were most and least attractive? The over-sifting of the data set likely obscured other trends that were more responsible for profile success than the photo characteristics the study claimed to be measuring.

What Three Failed Months on OkCupid Taught Me About Dating

This leaves only smiling ugly guys at the bottom of the spectrum and grumpy hot guys at the top, making it look like being grumpy makes you hot. But the number of men who were not smiling and looking away especially in early , before OkCupid advised it would be in the hundreds at most. In data science, we know it can be difficult to find consistent trends even between visitors of the same website from one week to the next. Is it likely that trends found among a very specific niche of male daters long ago — those who chose to upload only one photo and no profile text to OkCupid in — could translate to a viable Tinder strategy for all men in ?

The truth is that societal and dating norms have changed a lot in this amount of time. For instance, dating online used to be taboo. Further, what kind of man uploads one photo and no profile text? Before this advice was made popular by OkCupid, the only instances of not smiling and not making eye contact were at least somewhat contextually relevant.

Our data suggests that there is no one-size-fits-all photo strategy for all men. Truthfully, even if a particular photo strategy showed a slight difference in average effectiveness, the individual photos score all over the map. If you want to know what works: Growing skepticism Since OkCupid published their data in support of not smiling in pics, the tip has been quoted as gospel truth on dating advice blogs, PUA podcasts, dozens of dating subreddits, forums, everywhere. She seemed interesting and funny via email, but we all know typed words can be deceiving.

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Like apparently my blogs make me sounds like a funny white guy, yeah, like that. Physically she was um…pretty? Well if you average all of her photos together, she was pretty. What do you mean average all of her photos together you ask? I mean, good question. Said girl had 5 photos. The 4 th was the next best and so on, until you get to her main profile picture 1 st photo , which looks almost like a completely different person from her 5 th photo.

All of my pictures are current and look like me. So knowing that mostly likely she was probably going to be looking more like picture 1, then picture 5, I still decided to go out on the date. You have to be physically attracted to the person, at least initially. No girl EVER does that. I have to light myself on fire and start break dancing, just to get girls to notice me at bars.

But I digress, so after averaging all her pictures together I decided I was attracted enough to go out on a date with her. Some of them were date dates, some of them were just friends I was trying to make out with. The date always starts off at the same nice quant Italian restaurant a few blocks from me in Hillcrest , they have an awesome, and a very intimate atmosphere. As opposed to suggesting after dinner we go down to Dirty Birds in PB and shotgun beers. I have to stop doing that. So now you know.


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  • Now the time between when she hangs up and she actually gets down stairs is probably the most nervous 4 minutes of the date for me. She opens the doors, and immediately I notice this is NOT the girl from photo 5, nor photo 4, nor 3, nor 2, nor 1. AND for the record, I like girls with a little meat on them. I like girls that would be considered average to bigger than average, for the record. BUT she was bigger than even I would find attractive.

    I figured it out, but not, till much later…. We make our way to the Italian place, order food, order wine, have an average conversation. Nothing spectacular, nothing terrible. After dinner I proceed to start progressing towards step 2, suggest we go get a drink at a really classy wine bar about half a block away, she fires back with we should go to Aerobar.

    The secret to success for women on OkCupid? Sending the first message.

    Going along with her suggestion, we head out to Aerobar. Small, narrow, one bar with some pool tables in the back. The bar is packed, all local older San Diegian type of crowd. We sit down at the bar and order a drink. She finally has a seat and we start talking again when she gets interrupted by her phone ringing. She opens up her purse to grab her phone, and what did my little eyes spy that ended any hope of a second date??

    Also she was talking about running a half marathon this year. Shut up, this is my blog, I can over react anyway I want. But THEN it clicked.

    OKCUPID DATING STORY #2 TMI!!!!!!! - STORYTIME

    When she got into the car she smelt like sweet sweet perfume and terrible terrible cigarette smoke. This is a deal breaker. I did date a girl that smoked only when she drank, and I hated it. She smelt like smoke, tasted like smoke and made me smell like smoke. Pretty much I stopped listening. No physical attraction, no mental attraction AND she smokes. Date could not end quick enough. As soon as I got home, I immediately logged onto okcupid, to check her profile to see if she said she smokes….

    Smoking was just the straw that broke the camels back, not the only thing that helped me make my decision for no second date.

    Okcupid.com Date: FAIL

    I really wanted the date to go well. Well I really want any date to go well. I like dates, I like having dates, I like having someone to enjoy this adventure of life with me not to get all emo on you. So what am I looking for you ask??? I actually have been building a list of requirements for my next girlfriend. When ever an idea or thought pops into my head about something I would like my next girlfriend to have or do, I tweet about it.

    Those are my requirements, let me know if you meet those, or know someone that does. That list is growing daily. Sounds like my internet twin.