Lazy communication dating

Jan 18, When it all boiled down to it, most of the lazy communication via text and email . You want to grow on all levels from dating into a relationship?.
Table of contents

Have we become a culture of lazy daters?

Lazy Dating – afterdefeat

Social media makes us feel as though we are able to date a million people, but that plethora of options leads to a decrease in patience. Many of us apply the same method to dating. Realistically, we can only give a small number of people opportunities to be a potential mate. Trying to balance work, family, fun, school and chasing dreams makes our time very limited.

Did any of those phrases sound familiar to you? If your friends are anything like mine, you have either heard these phrases or said them yourself. Sometimes I wonder if those are excuses to not work on our flaws. Maybe saying those things gives us the freedom to place blame on someone else. Now each individual should have a few things they wont tolerate, but if those things are equivalent to grocery list for a family of five, I would suggest reconsidering some things.

In this new era of dating, there is an imbalance of effort vs. I find a lot of people feel as thought they should be treated as the prize while the other pursues, without considering what they put forth into the budding relationship. A lot want to skip the steps of heartaches, arguments and getting to know someone. One to three hours travelling is do-able as long as you have the means to regularly make the journey. Some people are not cut out for long distance relationships — Dreamers fit that bill.

If the distance becomes too much and you spend more time thinking about the relationship than living it, let it go. Be careful of being with people who spend a lot of their time travelling. Certainly in the early months, this is a vulnerable hotspot for you and leaves you too wide open. You need to be with someone who you can see regularly both during the week and at the weekends.

Most Dreamers, especially Virtuals, have come up with all sorts of justifications for their behaviour based around modern dating. Nothing has changed — in order to create a mutually fulfilling relationship with love, care, trust, respect, and shared values, that has progression, consistency, commitment, balance, and intimacy, you both need to be in the real world, seeing each other regularly and putting in genuine physical and emotional effort that matches your words.

Sort your problems out. Every person who is in a virtual relationship has problems that, instead of solving, they avoid by seeking attention and making a big deal out of crumbs. This is how you end up with bigger problems than what you started out with.

Sometimes we do need a distraction in order to gain perspective so that we can approach a problem with renewed vigour and focus; having a virtual relationship is not a means of doing this. Bid farewell to your exes, especially the ones from long ago. The ex from long ago that screwed you over or married someone else when you think you were so much better — let them go. Stop stroking their ego, sending nude shots, or waiting around for them to send you dumb texts about the weather or your shared favourite sports team. The fantasy relationship touch test: Distance in space or time i.

A moderating excuse 4. Be explicit about going on a DATE. Two, because inviting someone over to your home is very personal and should be something you only do with people you have known for a good amount of time. This — I started to wonder if it was me!! Of course it was to get him laid…. I know, tell me about it! I met my ex AC online and we exchanged numbers and met up within a few days, which at the time was very exciting.


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We had 2 really good dates and he invited me over on our 3rd date. He dressed it up nicely by cooking dinner, buying wine and watching DVDs. However, on reflection it was probably only an opportunity to get laid.


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I kept blaming myself, I still do to a certain extent. I stayed over at his place one night again the following week, in between there were crummy texts explaining how busy he was. Then nearly 10 days went by and he invited me over again although we went to the cinema this time only because I said I was confused about the situation.

After that he went from blowing tepid to cold, ignored me, invited me out again, stood me up, then disappeared! The reason he gave me for standing me up and making me look like a tit was pathetic. During our short time together I was constantly checking my phone for texts and missed calls. When I called him for the last time and asked him what was up he was so passive and calm, which confused me even more.

We’ve Become a Generation of Lazy Daters

One more thing, he was always busy at weekends, and I only saw him during the week although he did have his children on alternate weekends. He was always busy allegedly helping friends out. I met a guy last weekend while out with friends. We chatted on Monday and he said he liked to get fun emails, he sent me an email asking me to name 5 things about myself. Since I had spent 4 hours with him when I first met him and this smacked of dating website stuff, I just ignored it.

I felt he had enough interaction when we met to determine if he wanted to go on a date or not. Well he called today and asked me out for Saturday nite, I accepted but have a few reservations. SM, you are WAY overthinking it.

Tips For Avoiding Text, Internet & Other Lazy Communication Based Relationships

Why are you investing so much of your attention and thinking in a person you saw just once? Are you sure you are ready for dating again?

3 Texts That Make Him Chase You (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

No one here can validate your feelings. If you wanna go out with him, then do it, if your gut tells you something is wrong, ditch him. I just didnt like the he said he liked to get and receive emails, so I prejudged him based on that. Girl, you need to chill. This guy has done nothing wrong, and yet you have already made some undeserved assumptions. I disagree with titi, SM.

comebacks, defeat, and missed attempts in relationships and other life quandaries

I would wonder if a guy had another relationship if he only called me in the evenings. I would ask him about it. Why waste any more time if he has a relationship? She will appear paranoid id she starts interrogating him. I would see if a pattern develops to see if there is a problem.

Recent Musings

Focus on that for now. On work nights I might run errands, go to the gym, etc… and get home after 9 pm. So go out, and have fun!