Daughter dating loser boyfriend

What do you do when your teenager is dating a loser, someone that is well And all this time, you thought your son or daughter was smarter than that, and.
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The daughter may think she is doing what she is supposed to be doing, what is expected of her. In her subconscious she may think she is "doing the right thing" by being loyal to her boyfriend. Has she ever pulled the "I am an adult, I know what I'm doing and you can't control me" card? I would hope for a continued alliance with the daughter rather than creating barricades to relationship. Webb, I like your nudging idea. I was actually kind of surprised she didn't make more friends last year.


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Perhaps she needs need a little nudge to do more than study and come home every other weekend. Heidi, I think Darlene is right we all want our daughters to find Prince Charming, but he doesn't exist. Actually now that I think about it the riff I currently have stems from my Dad not wanting me to date a boy when I was I did tell Jess that this boy may someday be the father of her grandchildren and that she would be upset if she didn't have a relationship with them because of her feelings now. Like your brother-in-law he may never forgive them.

And I've been following your story. Congratulations on your recent wedding. Funny how things work out. What a letter to your 19 year-old self. No one is perfect and we need to support our children in their decisions. I kind of wonder if Jess would be happy with any boy right now. I think she wants her little girl back. They even told them this will never work.

Homemaker's Daily, At some point we have to accept our children's decisions and support them regardless. Michelle, Ah interesting point about her pushing her friends away. Plus she didn't make any new friends at college. I find that odd. Your freshman year everyone is looking to make new friends because they don't know very many people.

Julie Jordan Scott, I had that belief too. Perhaps this girl with her promise ring feels the same way. My 19 year old daughter met a a guy 2 years ago at a party from the next day they started living together and never been a part. Now while this young man is respectful to us. He is so lazy he hasn't worked in 1. She fully supports him.

How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser

He receives not financial help from the government and completely relies on her. She is constantly struggling financially and hardly has any food or fuel. She is aware on how we feel but she loves him and her excuse is shes not going to break it off just because his unemployed. Help I don't know how to help her when she's so blinded by him. She admits his lazy and she's over struggling but it's not enough for her to get rid of him.

How do I do this.

Daughter Dating Loser Boyfriend!

In all honesty, you most likely will not be able to convince her to leave him because he is lazy. How does he treat her? If he abuses her in any way do whatever it takes to get her out of the situation. If he doesn't you are better off just letting her be. I know a couple who insisted their daughter break up with her boyfriend.

She was living at home, so they took her car and phone away from her until she did so. They don't like her new boyfriend either. I wouldn't give her any financial support what so ever, so that she can see what her life is going to be like with this guy. If she broaches the idea of moving home embrace it, but convincing her to break up with him probably isn't going to work. On another note and one that will be painful for her to learn you can't make someone that doesn't want to work - work.

Especially when they are being supported by their girlfriend. Also, the daughter in the above scenario is still dating her boyfriend.

Julie Jordan Scott Newer Post Older Post Home. She is in counselling and you are praying so those seem to be great steps in the right direction. You know, the more she trys to love and help these losers, the worse they probably become. Similarly, the more you focus on helping her, the worse she might become.

She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions and that she is a separate individual to you So, maybe she, in turn, is going ahead and and exhasting all her efforts to make her boyfriend change becasue she thinks this is what love is. If you can just back off, let her make her own decisions and take the consequences and pray for her, you will show her that this is what love is Then she might find a guy who also knows how to make his own good decisions. Hang in there with friendship and support if she asks for it or gets her heart broken, but I would stop trying to change her mind or her choices.

Daughter Dating Loser Boyfriend! - Mamapedia™

It sounds as though your daughter has a bit of the savior complex. I'm happy to here that she is in counceling. I have a younger sister with the same problem but she thought the counceling was a waste of time and now she is 40 and on her fourth marriage none of which has lasted more than 4 years. It will help her figure out why she is attracted to these types of guys.

First get her to write down on paper what she wants in a boy-friend. Than get her to write down the things she likes about him and the things she doesn't. That will clear the picture in her head and may be she will realise that this guy is not for her it might take some time. Keep the list somewhere where she can see it and keep adding stuff about him. I find myself constantly recommending this, but it is because it is such a remarkable tool for helping us to sort out our lives - emotions, needs, desires, pains, etc. I highly recommend getting her the book "Non-Violent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg and getting yourself and your daughter into an NVC class in your area.

I believe you can locate instructors through www. I know it sounds like just a communication method, but it is so much more. It also helps us to learn to truly hear others and thereby assist them in identifying these things AND it gives a tool for conveying what we are feeling without raising others' defensiveness.

If you can find a good instructor it is truly lie transforming. He is worth travelling to study with and may be able to recommend folks in your area if you are far away. Kudos to you for supporting your daughter and lovingly helping her to work through this pattern and understand it. That love and support is such a gift!

Being the daughter that dated loser boyfriends I would have to say that just being a support and giving your advice when it's asked for is the best thing you can do. Not that I think you are doing that!!

How To Know If You Are Dating a Loser

But in the end it just made me bitter and want to date them more to spite her. My father on the other hand was very comforting and kept telling me that he was very sorry for my situation, would support me in whatever i did and trusted that i would make the best decision. His approach was far more effective with me. I can imagine how upset you are because you want what is best for your daughter. Talking her into counseling is the best thing in the world for her.

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If she stays long enough, she will find out what the underlying facts are that cause her to keep picking this kind of guy, time after time. When she unlocks this emotional problem, she will start looking for different types of men. I hope this comes soon for you and her, then she will feel strong enought to dump this current loser. I have twin 21yr old daughters and a 25yr.

All three have dated loser guys and unfortunately one is still currently involved with a man who is a potential threat.

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I used to voice my opinion alot but found they stopped coming to me when they needed a shoulder because of the comments or suggestions I would make. I never minced words.. I now know this was a mistake. Kudos on her getting therapy!!!! Maybe she will learn why she gravitates towards bad boys She may have self esteem issues and therapy will help that.