I am so done with online dating

Ten years is a really long time to be single. But in 10 years (that's 3, days, kids), all that I've ever done is swipe through faces, go on I think I'm witnessing the decline of online dating to the point of its inevitable demise.
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But he was still quite drunk when we met. He took a king can of beer out of his knapsack and chugged it there on the street.

Next, I tried a more serious, academic tone and that led to lunch with the Computer Programmer. There was a little basket on the table, filled with those little plastic creamers. This dude peeled the creamers open one by one and drank them. I tried tongue-in-cheek next, which led to pizza with the Sniffly Librarian. He had a fabric handkerchief in his pocket and honked into it repeatedly. Each bottle was about half full. He revealed himself to be a furry. He wore a spotted giraffe hoodie, with pointed ears and a mane, and matching socks.

And he wore a tail. Yes, a furry tail. I had one profile that was rather long-winded and very detailed about my values, my political leanings and about what I was looking for. It attracted a lawyer with a foot fetish who said he would buy me as many shoes as I wanted, provided I let him suck my toes. And then there was the Comedian who forewarned me that no sex by the third date was a deal breaker.

My final date was with the Advertising Guy. We did the usual coffee thing, which by that time already seemed like more effort than it was worth. During our hour-long cappuccinos, Ad Guy emptied the contents of his Dockers pockets and gave me a detailed commentary on everything he carried: Maybe shift the focus a bit? Instead of looking for a connection, just meet people and see if something develops organically.

I can understand your frustration because every man have been rejected by a woman at some stage in our lives. The truth is, dating is different for men and women in that women are likely to get more attention especially on the Internet but they have their own set of challenges to deal with as well. Or the last time someone lied to you purely to get you in bed and make you feel used the next day?

Why I'm giving up on online dating

Or becoming pregnant because of a one night stand? Sure rejections sting but they are nothing compare to problems women face when they are romantically involved with someone. I also agree with Anne, in that instead of looking for a relationship, just meet people and let things develop organically. Dating is supposed to be fun and it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship and yourself if you are always looking for an outcome.

The first time was fun. The women I dated and I had a good time together, and I just wanted to get to know them better. I never went in with a plan.


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When I messaged women recently, I was general and said something about their profile. I never once said anything about having a connection and I know that you need time to see if anything happens. Yue, you mentioned a lot of situations that women face in the dating world. They are foreign to me and I think that lowlifes do stuff like that.

Done with online dating. Tired of non-stop rejection

I have never done anything that you mentioned to any woman. They have to want to be with me because we like each other enough. Just to let you know, the last woman I met with before this big drought happened was very sexually aggressive. I would have still been dating that woman, if things worked out. This another woman, I met once for a few hours, and she was a little obsessive. Yue, I just wanted you to know one more thing. I know exactly what it is like to be used by someone and lied to constantly. For at least a year, I was the only person making sure that my kids got to all their doctors appointments, lessons, and activities.

I made sure my home was taken care of, the bills were paid, groceries were bought, and we had a enough money coming in. I had to do this because the lowlife I married was too busy and preoccupied with having an affair to care about what we had for 19 years. I felt used for a long time after that because all I was good for was the work and the money. It happens to a lot of us. But it must have been terrible, so you deserve credit for making it through. Remember though, not all women are the same. Just like not all guys are disloyal pricks on steroids as many women complain.

You need to remember how a dating site works. And some girls love the attention. They need it to fill the emptiness inside their soul. I had similar problems for a long time on a dating site. I went on a lot of dates last year. And a few this year. Some girls I messaged blanked me too.

Maybe an 8 out of Things did work out for me, but I had to be patient and was very close to giving up.


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  • After 10 Years, Here's Why I’m Over Online Dating.

A lot of girls are vain. I mean, everyone is shallow to a degree. If I ever got messaged first, it was from … well, dogs, frankly. The hot girls get a lot of messages though. Friends I hung out with at work at the time — girls — would sometimes get 50 messages a day. Albeit, that was when they were new to the site Plenty of Fish. They probably have the option to pick and choose and some will choose abs over personality. And then complain in 3 months when their man cheats on them in a club.

To cut this short, you win some and lose some. You have to be prepared to accept being messed around. Nobody got time for that!

After 10 Years, Here's Why I’m Over Online Dating | HuffPost

There were several reasons I hopped off after such a short time. I never got any really nasty messages, but definitely some where I could tell the guy was just throwing out lines at everyone. I need some time on my own to feel really ok with being alone. I think in the past I put everything into relationships and then get terrified that they will end, so I end up smothering and killing it. I think the last thing you should do is give up hope, Steve.

And there are a lot of good ones.

You just have to have faith that the love you have is meant to be shared with someone who deserves it. I like being a part of a couple too.


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I can tell you from my short time on the site, I could spot the guys who were jaded and bitter, and I wanted nothing to do with them. I was looking for someone happy in his own life…. You can do this for FREE by picking stuff up from the library. Besides your two sons and finding a special someone, do you have any other passion that you can immerse yourself into?

You are most attractive when you are happy being just you, and enjoying life and your own passions besides spending time with another. Also, I could be wrong, but if you have this negative notion of women out there because of your experience I sense some bitterness , then you will carry this energy with you and it is not attractive. Surely, there are real, sincere women out there who want the same thing as you.

I have been in your shoes quite a bit concerning online dating. Sure, they look and sound like the perfect catch. The first few months were amazing but then something makes it come to a halt.

The Odds Are Stacked Against You in Online Dating

This happened to me recently and we had a good relationship for a couple years. She only visited me once but it turned out to be a one night stand. She had no intention of uprooting her life on the east coast to spend it with me. Yet, she had assured me not to worry. Unfortunately, the worse case scenario fell into place. She felt it might be better to email back and forth. This felt odd, I have a hard time trying to communicate effectively in a situation like that. I was blamed for everything from A-Z.

My next endeavor, in a dating relationship, I will handle it with an open mind but also protect myself from further pain. I hope what I and the other supporters said helped. Thank you for sharing this.