How to know if dating a loser

We all know to avoid people that appear insane or abusive and not select them . If you are ten minutes late for a date, it's your fault that the male loser drives 80 .
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You are not his mother and you did not give birth to him. If he is looking for a mommy, then he needs to go back home and move back in with his mommy. Do not be that person for him. Your dating a loser if he thinks it is your job as his girlfriend to provide for him. When I was in a Facebook group about relationships I remember getting into a discussion with a man who did not have a job and did not have one for a long time.

And he tried to tell me that as a woman we should understand. I do not understand. I have been laid off from a job before you can click here to read my blog on that so I understand people lose their job.

But then I got another one. Think of it this way, if you get married how is he going to help contribute to your bills if he has no way to work or any sort of income coming in? If he does not have that or he is not willing to do that then he is a loser. Out of the couples I have counseled I think so many women overlook this aspect when pairing themselves with a man. He has no to goals and was lazy when you were dating him, and now that you are married you are wondering why he is still lazy and does not want to do anything. On my blog I encourage women to have goals and try to reach their success, so you know that it is unacceptable for men to not have any goals or drive to do anything.

This is an indicator of laziness and a lack of planning. If he I not encouraged about his own life then how can he be encouraged about your relationship or the life you are trying to create together. If you are in a relationship where a guy does not want to give you his time, a date, or even make you his priority; then he is a loser. The last thing that you want is to be the one giving all your time, effort, and energy in the relationship and you are getting nothing back.

The last thing you want is to feel like you are last on his list of things to do. If you are lost on what you deserve check out my blog on a woman worth more than rubies. Of course if you have been dating for a week he may not want to meet important people in your life. But once you have been dating for a while and you determine you want to get serious with this person, if he does not want to meet anyone in your life that is important to you, then you are not important to him.

Another tidbit, is that if he does meet your family and friends and he is just plain rude to them or leaves a bad impression, then yes he is a loser. A man who cares about you is going to try to make a good impression to the people you care about. If they are a jerk to these people that is a sign of his character and that he just does not care about you. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor.

Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one.

12 Signs The Guy You’re Seeing Is A Loser Who’s Wasting Your Time

They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression. They shower you with phone calls, often every five minutes, hoping that you will make an agreement or see them just to stop the telephone harassment. Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure.

Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner. If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are. Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity.

The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth.

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They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public. Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public. When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you.

Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit. They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal.

"The Loser"

The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members. Bad Stories People often let you know about their personality by the stories they tell about themselves.


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The stories a person tells informs us of how they see themselves, what they think is interesting, and what they think will impress you. A humorous individual will tell funny stories on himself. They may tell you about past relationships and in every case, they assure you that they were treated horribly despite how wonderful they were to that person. Waitresses, clerks, or other neutral individuals will be treated badly. A mentally healthy person is consistent, they treat almost all people the same way all the time.

7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser | PairedLife

If you find yourself dating a man who treats you like a queen and other females like dirt — hit the road. The Reputation As mentioned, mentally healthy individuals are consistent in their personality and their behavior. Pay attention to the reputation. If the reputation has two sides, good and bad, your risk is high. You will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship.

Emotionally healthy and moral individuals will not tolerate friendships with losers that treat others so badly. You become paranoid as well — being careful what you wear and say. Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly.


  • Sophie-sticated Mom.
  • 7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser!
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  • 12 Signs The Guy You’re Seeing Is A Loser Who’s Wasting Your Time | Thought Catalog.

If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself. Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving — shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies.

Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault. They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger. People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation.

Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date.

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Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults. You may need help and legal action to separate from these individuals. During the detachment phase you should…. Observe the way you are treated. Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions.