Dating tips shy gay guys

Dating is hard enough as it is, but when you add that the fact you're shy and introverted into the mix, then dating can be a special kind of hell.
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I get up, take a leak, stretch a little bit, grab a drink of water, look outside to see what the weather is like and eventually I'm my normal self. Talking to women works the same way. Even the most outgoing guys don't start out that way. You have to crawl before you walk, right? You can't be a wallflower all night and then when you see the girl you got the hots for, go up and approach her and expect things to go great.

So here's what you do The next time you're going to be at a venue where there are women you might be interested in, before you even consider talking to them or even looking in their direction, I want you to start off by talking to some of the other people around you. Start off real slow if you want. If you're out at a public place like a restaurant, bar, club or lounge why not ask a question to one of the staff there, share a laugh and have a little 30 second conversation? When I go out I always befriend the waiters, waitresses, bartenders, bouncers.

Then I talk to some of the other people standing around me, fat chicks, whoever. Then when I do see a hot girl I'm interested in, I'm nice and warm and I feel like I'm surrounded by friends so talking to her, no matter how hot she, is isn't a big deal. A lot of guys approach a woman with the goal in mind of getting her phone number, or getting a date with her, or making her their next girlfriend. They see how pretty she is and all sorts of things like this go through their heads and they inevitably psyche themselves out. They become way too outcome dependent. And worst of all, by doing this, they appear too needy to the women and the game is over before it even begins.

So here's what you do instead: When you are first starting out trying to build you skills with women you should have only one goal in mind when you talk to a woman: To get better with women. Your primary outcome should be to build your skills. If this particular woman gets away who cares as long as you gain a little experience out of the interaction.

When you shift your thinking by changing the outcome that you're looking for women will be able to pick up on it. You won't appear needy and you'll inevitably start to become more attractive. You'll also be a lot more willing to talk to women because you're setting up a game you can win.

8 Best Flirting Tips to Bring a Shy Guy Out of His Shell

Most guys make a woman's response to them mean something about them personally. A woman acts bitchy or cold to them and they make it mean something about them as a man. I want you to know this When a woman "rejects" you, it actually has nothing to do with you.


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It wasn't YOU she rejected It was just you're approach. You used the wrong particular approach. How could it be she doesn't know you from a hole in the wall, right? So be grateful for her feedback whether positive or negative and never take it personal. Overall, the club and bar scene can be pretty intimidating to pick up women.

Women go out to these places, and because they're getting hit on all night and because their friends are around they're ten times more likely to reject a guy who tries to approach them. Going to these places to meet women is playing a game with the deck stacked against you. So then what's the answer? Well, over the last few years i've had some pretty amazing success with meeting woman after woman on MySpace and Facebook. I live in NY City where there are some of the hottest clubs, bars and lounges in the world. I've picked up women at the mall, the beach, walking down the street, the subway, the gym, and just about everywhere you can think of and I can honestly say this If you know what you're doing There's a few reasons for this: Because her friends aren't around watching her, other guys aren't hitting her and she's in the comfort of her own home she's SO much more receptive to you if you say the right thing to her.

But here's the thing I really love about MySpace and Facebook Not only are there millions of young, single women on these sites And not only can you quickly shoot out ten or fifteen messages to a bunch of these hot women in just a matter of minutes but There is absolutely ZERO chance of ever encountering a face-to-face rejection.

Flirting Tips to Bring a Shy Guy Out of His Shell

This means that a shy guy can build his skills with women in a totally risk-free arena. MySpace and Facebook can be your own personal "Flight Simulator" to build your skills with women. A guy can get really good, really quickly learning how to start conversations, flirt back and forth, build attraction, get phone numbers and set up "dates" because he doesn't have to worry about her friends, his friends, or the intimidation he might feel if he went to approach her in person.

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Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. Nice and informative piece Tony but the chapter about reading signal! Jeez man, It would be easier reading heiroglyphics. I have never been able to read signals from women apart from the obvious "get lost " ones lol. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Their biggest culprit is the negative self-talk in their heads that minimize their competence and value; if this obstacle could be removed, their quality of life would boost to a much higher level.

Shy Guys have more sex.

Most psychological experts believe that shyness is a learned behavior or a reaction to a negative event that inhibits the person. If you lived with others who were shy or emotionally identified with an attachment figure who was shy, you may have observed and modeled that behavior yourself and it became a part of you. Negative experiences or being the victim of a trauma could also contribute to the development of shyness. Where does your shyness stem from?

Try to understand the origins of your shyness by examining your attitudes and past experiences more closely. Realize, shy guys, that the more you run from and avoid your anxiety-provoking situations, the more strengthened and reinforced your shyness gets. The key is to stop giving away your personal power to others in what you perceive of them thinking of you and learn to become more assertive. Get out there and make your dreams come true! You have a lot to contribute and give, but you must realize this first and take proactive steps to making your vision a reality.

And a special note to all of you single, extroverted, outgoing, non-shy guys…. Never underestimate the power and value of a shy guy. He is very creative, passionate, loyal, and caring.

Gay Men Answer Dating, Relationship, and Marriage Questions

So never turn a blind eye, because shy guys make good boyfriends too. And who knows, he could even turn out to be your life partner. Your choice of either "How to Find Your Mr. Right" for singles or "Partners In Life" for couples. Portions of this website contain information of a sexual nature and may discuss and display sexual material and content for educational and self-help purposes. This site is intended for an adult audience of persons over the age of 18 only.

All others are prohibited. Become educated in anxiety management strategies. Schedule times every week that will stretch you out of your comfort zone and put yourself in social situations where you can practice becoming more confident and savvy. Learn about systematic desensitization to help gradually expose yourself to anxiety-provoking situations. If throwing yourself into a social scene is too overwhelming to start with, start slower by taking an acting class or joining a public speaking meeting like Toastmasters.

These venues are excellent places to teach you valuable social skills in a structured, safe, setting that will give you the practice you need to feel more self-assured. Use the more non-threatening parts of your world as your practice laboratory. Learn communication and active listening skills that will assist you in having conversations with others.