Isfj dating istj

ISTJ female dating an ISFJ male. It is hard to tell without being either of you guys. We're only outsiders but it seems like you guys have some.
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I am not the most familiar with the stages of a relationship though, so Anyhow, the reads of this situation assuming he is ISTJ that make the most sense to me would be It takes me a long time to warm up to flirting, and there are necessary conditions that have to be in place -- things that assure me they would not be investing in me exclusively, or that they have no reason to expect a long-term relationship with me e. I wouldn't want to lead someone on by returning flirting if they could reasonably expect us to get together.

I guess at this point, I feel mixed feelings. On the one hand, I almost want to say that you should be direct and ask him, "What the hell, dude? Were you testing him, or was it just a natural development in the moment? What does it look like when he shoots you down when you try to solidify plans for the activities he suggested for you to do together?

Like you say, "Sure! I don't know about other ISTJs here, but I am usually extremely hesitant to invite people to anything -- I typically engage in a lot of activities alone, and am perfectly happy doing so, so already the multiple invitations seems weird, too, let alone changing his mind on them, as if he's just impulsively doing one thing and then another. Unless "shoots me down" means being ambivalent and unsure or flaky about actually solidifying plans?

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Also, what would it be like if you got into a relationship and then broke up 6 months later? Do you picture it being a relationship that would really hurt to lose, or could you see it being a casual thing that you could mourn pretty quickly and then move on from? If the latter, it might help him to know that. Some of what you describe makes him sound like his actions are kind of poorly thought-out, and loosely engaged in, in a way that I could imagine if someone had Ti-Se -- that more Se-based orientation to your immediate activities and interactions, and a sensing-type groundedness, but still with a clear thinking preference over feeling preference.

But from everything I know and have read here on ISTJs and being one, if personal emotions are involved, we become times more careful -- we become even less impulsive, and the flexibility required to negotiate the relationship has us anxious, second-guessing, and more serious overall. For myself to be as casual and loose with someone as it sounds like he is being with you, I'd I don't even know. Hey, thanks for the insight, it gave me some things to think about. Perhaps that's why we keep doing this dance, he's annoyed that something isn't so cut and dry or crystal clear.

As for why I was flirting with him, honestly? Cause I was in the area and drinking with my girlfriends.

ISFJ Weaknesses

We live an hour apart so to be in our areas can be a bit rare. I stopped by his place after about an hour of flirting that night and nothing happened, we just watched American Gods. As I was leaving though it seemed like he wanted me to stay the night you have work in the morning? Are you sure you need to go?


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I never shot him down for anything, he strangely enough would shoot me down after suggesting things. Omg I love that movie! My favorite part was spoiler alert , how about you? I didn't see it yet! But it's so weird and gross you'd love it, what are you waiting on? My roommate and I have a backlog of movies and shows to watch first.

Unless you wanted to watch it together sometime? Sure, when did you have in mind? I have work for several weekends in a row so maybe a month or two from now I don't know I um bye.

ENTP Relationships (INFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, INTP)

I'm already making this super long but another thing is if he broke up with me again, I'd live. It's not that I don't have friends, a life, a career. It doesn't centralize around him, no one's life should centralize on any one person. The only reason why my ISTJ used to shoot ideas down was because he had too many other things going on. I think you just need to get him to spill more info on what's going on in his life and mind. But if it's like pulling teeth, save your energy bc that's the sign of a poor communicator or poor communication and you do not want that in a long term relationship that you intend to go somewhere serious.

For what it's worth I was confused too, but that's that's he said. He is a poor communicator on feelings, he's extremely articulate with everything else. As forbthe shooting down the date idea I mean It was his idea. Was he expecting me to say no? It is hard to tell without being either of you guys.


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We're only outsiders but it seems like you guys have some communication issues. At the same time, ISTJs are generally blunt and direct but have problems with more personal matters so it's not completely surprising. The best thing you can do is just I personally hate a lack of certainty, and for better or for worse, you're getting an answer, which is a lot better than always wondering.

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Want to add to the discussion? I really don't know what to tell you. Both partners are extroverted people-people who enjoy being surrounded by loved ones.

The ENFP’s Guide To Dating Guardians | Thought Catalog

Two healthy partners of these types can bond over their love of bringing others together. While these types may not outright dislike each other, they are not necessarily well suited for a long-term partnership. They are likely to struggle to achieve a meaningful emotional connection — something that is highly important to both parties. While these parties share all the same functions, they prioritize the use of these functions in very different order, leaving room for many potential clashes.

On the positive side of things, both parties are ambitious, goal-oriented and personable. Both partners are extroverted in nature and enjoy reaching decisions through talking them through aloud. They can bond over their goal-oriented nature and will often find that putting their heads together allows them to find the best possible solution to a given situation. These differences in attitude are likely to frustrate both parties. The moments of connection they may experience when the ENFP applies their Te are likely to be overshadowed in time through their differing opinions on most topics.

These types are both crystal clear on what they want out of life — and those visions are unlikely to line up. As a result, it is can be difficult for these two to find common ground as one would always have to be using their inferior function in order for natural communication to take place. Additionally, both parties tend to be quite committed to the relationships they enter into and are therefore willing to work as a team to make the relationship a happy and healthy place to be. Both partners prefer making decisions based on their feelings and are therefor happy to compromise — to an extent — for the good of the relationship.

There is a large potential for miscommunication with this pairing, as the ISFJ tends to show love by running errands and physically providing for their partner whereas the ENFP places a strong emphasis on affirming words. This pairing will stand the best chance if both partners values line up and they are willing to put work into the relationship.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love — one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.