Dating herpes stories

Herpes is an incredibly common STD, but informing potential partners about it can still be hard. Here, two women (and an ob/gyn) explain how.
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I also remember about a week later I had ordered some fries and I offered some to a friend who said no, "I don't know where your hands have been. I excused myself to go home, punched the wall, drove home with my knuckles bleeding, and didn't talk to her for a few months. I literally jumped up and down for joy, much to the amusement of my coworkers though they didn't know the reason for my happiness.

I was fairly certain it was herpes and it was frustrating to have gotten that negative test and be left up in the air. The closure was a sigh of relief, as well as knowing that I had the more common strain. When I commented to a friend that I had HSV-1, the virus that causes cold sores, her reaction was "That's what you were worried about? During that month between the two tests, I transitioned from depression to acceptance, and was largely back to normal except I knew my dating life would never recover.

In some ways, it made me more confident. Despite being almost fully back to normal, I still considered myself basically unfuckable. It looped back around from depression to apathy and now when I went out, I wasn't out to impress any ladies or anything since I figured they'd want nothing to do with me once they found out. I was able to cut loose for the first time in a long time, and I even started singing karaoke on a regular basis.


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Thanks to my performances, I made a bunch of new friends and now there's a group of us who go out twice a week to sing. I kind of regret telling so many people at work because some of them didn't keep it to themselves and a friend told me that he overheard a coworker who I barely knew telling someone else "Guess who has herpes? I might've jumped the gun on being so open and now it's just my close friends who I can regale with anecdotes about the herpes lifestyle. On the flip side, a few months later, one of my friends got diagnosed with HPV and confided in me.

She was going through some of the same emotions I had a few months earlier and I was happy to be able to support her. Since then I've had a few more friends come to me when they had STD issues since they knew I'd been there, which is sort of a happy epilogue. I wasn't mad at the partner who gave me herpes. Once the outbreak cleared up, we saw each other casually a few more times until she met someone her age and they started a relationship.

Since her HSV was oral and condoms only protect what they cover, I guess I can take some solace in the fact that foregoing that condom for PIV sex wouldn't have saved me anyway since she performed oral sex on me and my entire genital region came into contact with her mouth. Somehow, I didn't catch it orally, or if I did I never had any cold sores. After that, I went on a handful of Tinder dates that went well but we didn't really have a spark.

What it’s really like to date with herpes | Metro News

Finally, there was one where it looked like we might be getting physical. I disclosed via text and said I had the virus that causes cold sores, just not where most people typically get them. I didn't want to overwhelm her with statistics and links or anything because I didn't want to make it seem like it was a huge deal which, medically speaking, it's not , and I think it was a combination of the low-key approach and her general open-mindedness that made it a positive disclosure. It was also a massive confidence booster because I remember thinking that I must be pretty awesome if she was willing to risk getting herpes.

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I've had two more partners since then and both disclosures went positive. Maybe I've just had a lucky streak, but to my surprise my sex life hasn't really changed much post-herpes. Of course, there's still that lingering anxiety when meeting new people because I'm still dreading that first rejection. I started on acyclovir for the primary outbreak, and since then I only take a suppressive dose when seeing someone. During the first outbreak, the only home remedy I tried was sobbing, which wasn't really effective and I don't recommend it.

Let me know how the responses go, I know most of the men are lurkers and the women are more active here.

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I'm 28yo, caught the virus at I had a horrible primary OB and it was utterly terrifying. I went to the ER a few times, and finally saw a specialist and was properly diagnosed via swab test. It was really devastating to me. I've never been very sexy positive, I'm queer as well and it took me awhile to accept I wasn't going to have the normal Herero life I'd always imagined.

Catching Herpes I beat myself up a lot, for being weak for needing sex and being with men Fortunately I became much closer to my Unofficial BF who inadvertently gave me the virus. We've been together ever since, and it's been pretty cool. I'm not on medication as I haven't had an issue with OBs. If I do get an OB I'll take antivirals until it clears, but at this time I don't plan on being on a daily regimen.

I have dealt with some lingering discomfort and anxiety at times, but I've mellowed out a lot as time has gone on.

Welcome to Reddit,

I feel like in a few years time this will be just a blip on the radar of my life. Also just so you know, I'm going to give you a pseudonym in the book as I've done with everyone else.

It was quite a wild ride to read to be honest, but I'm so that that you were able to gain confidence about your diagnosis, and I found it really sweet that your friends feel that that can come to you with similar issues. I got it late in life, after being so careful. I drank after her on beer cup while she has a massive outbreak. Woke up tingling in pain , and life was never the same. I havent come to term with it - I am angry. I did not tell this girl what happend.

Dating with herpes stories

I moved to another state and I havent disclosed to anyone yet and most of my friends dont know. I dont seem to have anything visible. It's inside my mouth where the poison viral laden beer pour down my gullet and got into my nerves and now my outbreaks are painful things all inside my mouth. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

Just so you know, I'll be giving you a pseudonym as I do with everyone who's answered the questions. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, and I do hope you find peace with it soon. But let me reassure you that it will get easier- herpes is only about as bad as you make it out to be. Seeking support online like you're doing now, that's the best thing I did. It's good to remind yourself you're not alone in this. As for dating, yes, it's an extra step added in there that your have to disclose, but there are accepting people out there!

I got diagnosed a couple days ago with GHSV-1, at age I thought it was a bacterial infection, bc I had recently shaved around the base of my penis, and the sores were all in that exact area. I got tested at the local health dept, and results took 3 weeks. In the meantime, they gave me some anti-biotic Bactrim I think? It should also be noted that I had just gone through some life-changes and relocated back to my hometown after testing.

Honestly, when they took me back to give the results to me, I figured I was positive with one of them.

Living (and dating) with herpes

I sighed, thanked the LPN, and went home. Read some articles and was relieved to find that since HSV-1 is out of its element in the genital area, most people have recurring outbreaks, and the risk of transmission through viral shedding is slim mer than with GHSV But we plan to get a hotel this coming up weekend and I know I will have to have the talk with her beforehand. Dec 7 signs, simulations, but you.

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