How to write a good message on dating sites

Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that Commenting on someone's online dating profile shows that you After all, isn't that what you signed up for when you joined an online dating site?.
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All you need is a bit of confidence, a bit of common sense, and some examples to learn from. And, once you have the latter, the other two elements are sure to follow. The best way to rise above the rest? Tailor your message for the recipient. Want an easy way to write an online dating message that has a great chance of getting a reply? Identify the common ground between you and the recipient.

So, why not bring that up? Are you enjoying being on a dating site? Finding common ground is great, but an even better approach is to identify something specific in their profile that you find interesting. Just hone in on one that you share or would like to share!

There’s more to it than you think

Do you have any favorite spots? The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed a common thread in these messages — they ask questions. Yes, your first online message is a chance to show your best side, but the way to do that is to flatter the recipient by asking them about their opinions and take on the world. After all, most people secretly love talking about themselves! For the best results, you can even combine all three tips — find common ground, personalize it, and make it a question.

Have you got any recommendations? The conversation ball is now in their court, and you want to wait for them to hit it back before you try and send another message. Once they do of course, game on! Try these tips to keep the online dating conversation going.

Online Dating: How to Write the First Message or Email

So, they loved your opening line, and you two really do have a common interest. Dive a little deeper and start building a bond based on that shared enthusiasm. I do love Netflix documentaries! My favorites are always the ones where they try and solve some sort of crime or mystery. Have you seen it? My sister will be pleased someone has succeeded; she actually has a place up near Napa, so lives for stories about wine and keeps telling me to watch.

7 Types of Online Dating Messages that Get Responses

But enough about my family. Or have you always been based in this part of California? But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.

While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.

How to write the first message- plenty of fish secrets- online dating tips for men

Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself.


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Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.

7 types of online dating messages that get responses

Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message. Using the words, awkward, sorry, and apologise gets better results when sending a first message to a woman but not so to a man.


  • How to Write Your First Online Dating Message | The Soulmates Blog;
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  • 11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses;
  • How to message someone on a dating site.

Our favourite part of the job at Soulmates is collating the success stories we receive from happy couples that met through our site.