Christian advice for dating a divorced man

It seems foolish to turn down a divorced man who tried to save his marriage in favor As a Christian, your date needs to be able to identify his own sins and . John Townsend, Video Advice Dating Channel, Cloud-Townsend.
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What, then, do we say concerning Mark I would remind you that this is a parallel passage to Matthew I understand that the reason why Jesus does not mention the exception in Mark's Gospel is that He is trying to emphasize "the rule" and not "the exception. They had made the exception there can be divorce, when there is sexual immorality to be the rule there can be divorce for any reason at all.

Divorce was so rampant that Jesus wanted them to see that God was not permissive about divorce.


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It seems to me that those who hold to this highly restrictive view fail to remember the purpose of divorce. Divorce was permitted because of man's sin; it was a protection for the innocent party. It gave them the freedom to re-marry, without the guilt of committing adultery. When I look at passages like Deuteronomy Whether one can remarry, then, is determined by whether or not the divorce itself was biblical.

Know where the divorce stands

A divorce on biblical grounds constitutes the right to remarry, in my opinion. The only other biblical grounds for divorce that I find in the Bible pertain to a divorce that an unbeliever seeks because he or she does not wish to live with a Christian spouse. This is based on 1 Corinthians 7: I understand Paul to be instructing Christians not to divorce. If they have already divorced, the must either remain single, or they can only re-marry each other. The believer should not pursue a divorce from an unbeliever, but if the unbeliever wants out of the marriage, the believer should not contest this, and the believer would then be free to remarry.

The two grounds for remarriage, then, would be a divorce that involved sexual immorality, and a divorce initiated by an unbeliever. There are a lot of fine points here, but these cannot be explored here.

The only way that I see for you to do this is by seeking counsel from a trusted Christian who is a student of the Bible, and who can meet with both of you personally. First, sin is always messy - it creates untold problems. Sometimes it is very difficult to sort out all the causes of divorce. Second, I do not agree with those who say, in effect, "It takes two to sin. Clearly none of us is "without sin," and so any of us married or divorced can be found guilty of sin against our mates. But I would also insist, on the basis of 1 Corinthians 7, that one may be divorced because of righteousness, and not because of sin.

Jesus said that the world would hate us, just as it hated Him John Peter tells us not to be surprised if unbelievers turn against us when we are saved 1 Peter 4. Certainly, then, some marriages may break up because of the righteousness of one mate. Third, I would say that there is a sense in which divorce is the "lesser of two evils.


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  • Those who are divorced biblically and remarry will have more challenges to face, more baggage from the past to deal with. The Old Testament does not allow the priests to marry a divorced woman, and not even a widow Leviticus A priest can only marry a virgin I have married a number of people who have been divorced, but hopefully these have fallen into the categories I have described above. In each case, I have pointed the couples to the Biblical texts, and told them that they needed to study those passages very carefully.

    They need to be fully persuaded about the matter of divorce and remarriage. They need to be willing and able to live with their decision the rest of their lives, without going back and constantly second guessing themselves. They need to be able to endure the disapproval and even rejection of some, who will believe their marriage to be unbiblical.

    They must certainly be able to have on-going marital sexual relations without feeling that they are committing adultery.

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    In this way, they must reach their own convictions on this matter of divorce and remarriage Romans You must be fully convinced in your own mind, and you must do nothing from doubt Romans In addition to being fully convinced that you can marry, you really need to be certain that you should marry. I was counseling a couple a few years ago who each had a divorce in their past.

    At the end of our study the man said something like this to me, "I've come to the conclusion that it is not just a matter of whether I can remarry or not. The most important question is, Will this marriage glorify God? In most relationships when you break up with someone, you can easily move them out of your lives. The two may still be in contact, especially if kids are involved.

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    During the relationship he may run into old friends who ask about his divorce and his ex-wife, so mentally prepare yourself for that. Keeping tabs on a woman he no longer desires to be with only makes things harder for you. African couple hugging outdoors. A divorced man who has already been through the hoops of a marriage may be a bit more hesitant to rush through things.

    Before getting into anything serious with a divorced man, first be sure that he is over his ex-wife. Couple lying on autumn leaves in park. Shot of a young woman looking upset while her boyfriend tries to comfort her. Though some men are against marriage, you may find that a divorced man is probably not looking or planning to get married again, or at least not anytime soon.

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    Before getting into anything too serious, be sure that you know his stance on marrying again. You may even find that by trash talking his ex, he defends her. Avoid talking badly about his ex at all costs.